


Beneath the Rainstorm's Run

by Paintbrushyy_Ducky98



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged Up, Angst, College AU, Falling In Love, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Iwaizumi - Freeform, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru Fluff, M/M, Oikawa - Freeform, Oikawa lost his memory, a little bit of kyouhaba, but very little, child iwaizumi, first multichapter fic, iwaoi - Freeform, maybe? - Freeform, of age, redoing the tags cuase I'm still figuring out how this works
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-27
Updated: 2016-10-05
Packaged: 2018-07-27 03:22:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 23,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7601488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paintbrushyy_Ducky98/pseuds/Paintbrushyy_Ducky98
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They say you never forget your first love, but what happens when your first love forgets you? When Oikawa loses his memory in an accident when he's only six years old, his mother moves him to a new city for better care. Leaving Iwaizumi behind Oikawa grows up unknowing of his best friend and his old life. However, before starting university Oikawa has a heart stopping encounter with a very unfamiliar face. Love can be hard when you only know half your story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“I’m sorry.” 

The rain started again, but it’s... it’s still sunny. The light glistens off each drop. 

“I’m sorry.” like whispers in the trees. Oikawa can feel the heat of the sun pushing up against his cheek, he can feel the jostle of the earth beyond him. 

“I’m sorry Oikawa” He can hear his name, Iwaizumi crying his name, whispering it for only the air to know his words. He can feel it all fading,  _ it’s beautiful _ , he thinks,  _ this fog, it’s beautiful. _ He closes his eyes again, lets the cold wash over him. 

Oikawa’s mom meets them at the edge of the pathway, from the window she had seen Iwaizumi’s face, she had seen Oikawa on his back, from the window she knew her baby was gone. She pulled Oikawa away crying, rubbing his hair away from his eyes, screaming when she feels the warmth of the blood on the back of his head. Iwaizumi doesn’t scream, he doesn’t cry, Oikawa’s mom is crying, he thought mommies weren’t suppose to cry, mommies are suppose to make things better.  _ Why... why was she crying?  _ She holds his head to her heart, she rocks back and forth, her face contorted, warped by her screams, by the tears rushing down her cheeks. Iwaizumi doesn’t understand, he feels the sting of his own tears, he feels the drop of his heart, he feels himself brake as an empty shell, seeing her cry, seeing her hold Oikawa, so tightly against her beating heart, he began to scream. He screams because he wants her to stop, he wants her to kiss him and Oikawa and tell him everything's going to be all right, because he want Oikawa to wake up, he want him to call him Iwa-chan, he wants his eyes to light up like stars, he wants his best friend back. 

She stops crying eventually, it felt like hours, like days they had been sitting there, an eternity of pain as they both sat broken, until she got up, and ran to the house. Iwaizumi doesn’t follow her, he just watches through his tears, the blood that's still dripping from Oikawa’s head. She’s talking on the phone, sniffling and holding Oikawa in her arms. She’s rushing around the house, holding a towel to Oikawa’s head. Iwaizumi is still sitting outside, she hasn’t remembered him, the rain is still dripping. A red ambulance? She gives Oikawa to a man, he’s wearing blue, he’s a doctor. Iwaizumi gets to his feet, rubbing at his eyes. Oikawa’s mom runs up to him, doesn’t say anything when she picks him up. She sets him in the ambulance with Oikawa and gets in after him. He remembers her blue eyes, her blue eyes wide with terror, with tears and pain. 

“Everything’s going to be okay.” she says. 

“He’s going to be okay.” she says. 

“Your mom is going to meet us at the Hospital, okay? She’ll take you home soon, and then you can come see Tooru tomorrow, when he’s awake. Okay?” Iwaizumi nods, he wants to believe her, he wants her to be right. But, he knows she’s not. 

The bed Oikawa is sleeping in is very short. Iwaizumi reaches out, between the yellow bars, Oikawa’s hand is the same size as his, small. He holds Oikawa’s hand until the doctors tell him not to, until Oikawa is taken away and Iwaizumi’s mother smothers him in her arms, she wraps her whole body around his, but he keeps watching, over his mom’s shoulder, he watches Oikawa being rolled away. His eyes were closed, like he was sleeping.

Iwaizumi cries the entire way home, his mother doesn’t tell him not to. It’s dark out by the time they get home. Iwaizumi looks up at the stars when he gets out of the car, _ the stars are very dim tonight,  _ he thinks.  

He crawls under the covers of his bed, his mother pulling the edge up under his neck. 

“We’ll go see him tomorrow.” she whispers. He didn’t die that day. Oikawa was still alive, he had heard his mother over the phone with Oikawa’s mom. Iwaizumi nods again. He hasn’t said anything since he began to scream in front of his house, and he never stopped screaming, he just closed his mouth. 

When his mother closes the door, Iwaizumi gets out of bed. He’s not suppose to get up, but Oikawa is worth it, He rummages through his basket of art supplies, for paper and a marker. The lights go out in the hallway, he’s left in the light of the dying stars outside. Iwaizumi tries to lay the paper flat on the ground. His hand was empty, it was cold, when he let go of Oikawa his hand got cold, it still felt cold. He doesn’t want Oikawa’s hand to be empty. He traces his hand onto the paper with the thick green marker. The lines come out shaky, but it’s still Iwaizumi’s hand. He folds up the paper and places it on the table beside his bed. He doesn’t sleep much that night, just stares. The white ceiling dances with the shadows of the deep night, as Iwaizumi’s mind swims through the deep muck of the day's events and he begins to wonder,  _ If she knew, would she hate me? Would he? _

He fell asleep, he fell asleep staring at the ceiling, thinking of Oikawa, and the blood on the back of his head. Iwaizumi slides to his feet undressing out of his pajamas as fast as he can. His heart woke up racing today. He stumbles into his clean clothes and runs to the kitchen, his folded up paper already stuffed in his pocket. 

“Good Morning Hajime” His mother says from the counter.    
“Hospital” is all he responds with. His breath feels thick. She nods, holding her purse close to her chest, and a piece of bread and cheese in the other hand. He takes the bread and cheese at the door as they exit, shoving the bread into his mouth, soothing his growling stomach, the cheese he stuffs in his pocket,  _ Oikawa might want that.  _

The car ride is longer than yesterday, because time moves faster when you’re crying, when pain is keeping your mind occupied with its relevance, and time moves slower when you’re staring blankly at moving trees counting the seconds until you see the hospital. Iwaizumi opens the car door before it’s fully stopped in the parking space. He hears his mother shout, but he can’t bring himself to stop. The front desk is too tall to see over so he reaches a hand and pats on the counter. The woman looks over the counter, one eyebrow raised. 

“Can I help you?” she says. 

“Oikawa? I’m looking for the Oikawas.” Iwaizumi says. She looks to the door for Iwaizumi’s mother who points at him. 

“Down the hall and to your right. Room 110.” she says. Iwaizumi doesn’t wait to say thank you or for her to finish her last word, just waves goodbye and bolts. Down the hall and to the right, down the hall and to the right, to the right, room...107, 108, 109, 110. He looks in the room expectantly. Every nerve ending is screaming to see Oikawa sitting up making a face at his hospital breakfast, or smiling at Iwaizumi, or complaining that his head hurts, or trying to figure out how to work the tv, or fiddling with his gown, or doing anything, but just lying there. It’s Oikawa’s mom who meets his eye, her blue eyes, still horrifying. Iwaizumi enters the room slowly, staring at Oikawa on the bed from the corner of his eye. 

“Hi Iwaizumi,” she says, her smile isn’t happy, her smile is a lie staring him in the face, making the pain grow in his stomach. He lies too, and smiles like she does, with pain in his heart. 

He’s been sitting at the foot of Oikawa’s bed for 3 hours.  _ He’s going to wake up, he has to wake up! But what if he hates me when he does? What if he doesn’t want to be my friend?  _

_ “Shut up Oikawa!” The rain was so slippery.  _ He can still hear the thud. 

“Iwaizumi!” His mother calls him from the doorway. 

“It’s almost time to go.” Iwaizumi gives a single nod before she disappears behind the doorframe. Oikawa hasn’t even moved, not even a flinch. Iwaizumi stands at the side of his bed and pulls out the piece of paper, it’s a little crumpled but it’s still there, the handprint. He grabs Oikawa’s hand between the bed bars, it’s not cold like his, but it’s still limp. He puts the paper in Oikawa’s palm, folding his fingers around it, clutching his hand so he won't let go, so no one can take it out. 

“Iwaizumi.” He turns. 

“Coming.” he responds. He takes his mom’s hand at the door, Oikawa’s mom is there too, still smiling, still lying. 

“Thanks so much for coming today Iwaizumi.” She says kneeling down. Iwaizumi nods. 

“I’ll come back tomorrow too, and everyday until he wakes up.” Iwaizumi says. He smiles fades a little.  

“Oh well, Iwaizumi, the doctors at this hospital can't help Tooru anymore, so we’re going to be moving to a new hospital, and since we don’t know when he’s going to wake up, we’re moving to the town nearby.” iwaizumi wanted to scream, but he just looks at Oikawa, asleep. 

“Okay.” he says. 

“Maybe you can come visit one day.” He nods again. Oikawa is still asleep. 

_ Wake up Oikawa, wake up so you don’t have to leave. I don’t care if you hate me I know you’ll get over it, just wake up. WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!! Oikawa please... please, don’t leave me here all alone.  _

His mother is tugging at his hand. He’s still watching Oikawa, when his mother tugs him away. 

_ I’ll go and visit him. I’ll just go and visit him. _

He never goes to visit.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa is packing and moving into his dorm today.

_ “Oikawa!” _

_ “I’m sorry”  _

_ “I’m sorry”  _

“Tooru! Get up sweet pea or I’m gonna move you into your dorm without you!” his mother’s rummaging through his trunk. Oikawa sits up rubbing his head.  _ What? _ He thinks, 

“Mom?” he’s still so fuzzy. 

“Did you forget? How much do you remember? Did you hit your head again? Quick when’s my birthday?” His mother plops down next to him clutching his head and pulling back his eyelid as if she could somehow tell if his memory was gone by looking in his sleepy eyes. 

“Mom. I’m. fine. and December 9th.” He pries her hands away from his face. 

“Mom, I lost my memories from before I was six, not before last night. I’m not gonna lose any more of my memory. Okaaaay?” He says shaking his head. His mother would never learn, there was no point in explaining, she’d always do it again, she’d always worry. 

“I know.” she whispers squeezing his hand. 

“So... college” Oikawa scrunches up his face. 

“Oh don’t act like that you know you’re dying to go.” She says pushing him back. He slides out of bed his alien boxers matching the colors of his room. 

“Please don’t tell me you're taking those?” She says. 

“What? They’re my favorite pair?” He pulls on a shirt and some jean cutoffs, slicking back his hair with his fingers. She just shakes her head. 

“How did you ever get a boyfriend when you owned those?” She says shoving a sweater into a box. 

“Um by wearing them.” Oikawa says giving his head a little swerv. His mother covers her mouth, stifling her hiccupy laughter. Oikawa smiles. 

“Speaking of boyfriends, is yours coming by to help?” She turns back to the box closing it up and pushing onto the floor by the door. 

“No, we broke it off a few days ago.” 

“Really!? Why?” She says excitedly, her eyes wide with curiosity. 

“Cause he’s an asshole, and you’re not suppose to be happy about this mom.” Oikawa’s smiles astonished. 

“You know I hated him!” 

“You're not suppose to tell me that!” He shouts as she leaves. 

“Finish packing, I’m going to make you breakfast.”  He watches her bun bounce as she jogs down the stairs, trying to comprehend the fact that he won’t see that every morning anymore. His room is half packed, Volleyball posters rolled in tubes, his books packed in three small boxes, all that’s left is his bed and his desk. 

The desk is old and creaky, little doodles scratched into the wood here and there, pencils at the bottom of the drawer from 5 years ago. That confession letter a girl gave him a week after he came out to his family. The old chewed up pen he’s been writing with since sophomore year. The piles of paper and old assignments some finished some not. Eraser shavings, broken pencils, ripped paper, and an old, crinkles, yellowed slip of paper with 12 year old creases. Oikawa wrapps the tip of his fingers around the edges of the small square. It’s stiff from sitting under old books and papers for so long. It crinkles and protests as he unfolds it. He doesn’t remember. Who gave it to him. What he did. He was sorry. The yellowed paper has hard creases in it and wrinkled edges, and in the center a small child’s hand print traced out with shaking hands and a green marker, with the words  _ I’m sorry _ scribbled just underneath it. The paper feels ancient,  _ would it disintegrate if I held it too tight?  _ He wonders. 

“Tooru!” He folds the paper up again, along the creases already set, just as it was folded the first time by him.  _ Him?  _ and stuffs it in his pocket. 

“Coming” He shouts. The paper weighs down his body with its mental impression, with its immutable presence on his hip. He sits down at the home bar in front of the plate, picking up the fork and mixing the eggs. His mother continues to mix her 3rd cup of coffee, adding in little spoons of sugar every few stirs. 

“How much more do you have left to pack?” She says raising the mug to her lips. 

“Um I have to finish up my desk and then pack up my bed.” 

“So what? Like an hour and we can head out?” She says. Oikawa nods his mouth stuffed with eggs. 

“Terry’s going to come over soon to help pack the heavy stuff in the truck okay?” 

“That american guy from your work that has a crush on you that you exploit to make him do things for you?” Oikawa says. His mother nods with a smile giving a very cheerful 

“Mmhmm” 

Oikaw looks out the kitchen window at the blue truck sitting in their driveway, they’re borrowing it from his uncle. 

“Mom, what was I like before the accident?” he asks. She stops drinking her coffee, the mug still pressed against her lips. 

“You’re 18 and moving out and you’re just now asking this?” She says. Oikawa shrugs. She smiles, shaking her head and putting her coffee mug down.

“Well, you were different. You were a wild child, and always got into trouble with your best friend, exploring the woods and playing knights.” 

“Who...who was my best friend?”  _ why is my throat so tight? _

“Um he was a boy, that lived a little ways down the road, you met while playing when you were like 1 and I took you to the nearby park. Uh, what was his name, I can’t believe I forgot I was close with his mother, and he was so sweet, I haven’t thought about them in 12 years, it’s been so long.” 

“It’s okay mom, it’s not that important. It’s the past.” Oikawa says finishing the last bite of his eggs. 

“Are you sure?” Oikawa is about to reply when there’s a knock at the front door. 

“Oh there’s Terry, quick put your plate in the sink and go finish packing.” She says rushing into the foyer. Oikawa reaches into his pocket. The little square is still sitting there.

_ What...was I like? Before we moved. It doesn’t matter.  _ He picks up his empty plate.  _ Nothing I did when I was 6 will be important now. Right? Who could I have known who would change who I am now?  _ The plate clatters in the sink.  __

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, find me on tumblr @paintbrushyy tell me what you think and ask me questions there too in my ask box! I'm always ready to chat!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iwaizumi sees a memory in the window and Oikawa finds one too.

“HEY WATCH IT KID!” The fat man shouts sticking his head out his truck window. Iwaizumi waves an apology to the man, stepping up onto the curb. He adjusts the headphones cupping his ears, before sticking his hands in his sweatshirt pockets.

“Iwaizumi!” Kyoutani leans out from behind the flower cart in front of the flower shop.

“Hey man!” Iwaizumi highfives him and waves to the old shop owner who’s sweeping the front patio.

“Morning!”

“Hey are you coming to open mic night tonight? We could use your guitar skills at the cafe for the poets. They loved you last time!” Kyoutani shouts after him.

“I don’t know man, maybe. Tell Yahaba I said hi” Iwaizumi shouts back. Kyoutani shoots him a thumbs up and pulls out his phone. Iwaizumi skips the song that starts to play, then skips the next one, and the next. He opens his phone and presses play on his alternative playlist.

_Finally._

Noon is approaching, Iwaizumi’s a little late, but he knows the girl before him enjoys being on air, so she won’t mind. Summer’s almost ending, so the hot summer days are coming to a close. The breezes are becoming colder and the sky is becoming greyer, shading the land in daylight meant for walking, for laughing, for living. The autumn months are always his favorite. Iwaizumi takes in a deep breath, smelling the afternoon bread from the bakery and the crisp air. Autumn’s the time for knitted sweaters, and warm tea, for long afternoons cuddling on the couch, for warm bowls of soup and baggy sweatshirts. Autumn’s when his heart beats faster because the world around him is starting to die, and somehow, somehow that makes him feel more alive, it reminds him of the sanctity of time. How fleeting it is. And how any sense of it can just disappear in an instant.

The station’s “Open” light is broken again. Iwaizumi slams his fist on its back when he enters and it sparks to life. Time for his shift. He weaves his way through the isles of records, through the maze of CDs and tapes no one is ever going to use again, the dust collecting on their edges tell the stories of those who have been touched and who remain unlistened. He peers his head around the corner, she doesn’t see him. He walks up to the studio window and slaps it with his palm a few times. She jumps when she hears him, but waves and smiles when she realizes it's just him. She removes the headphones from her ears.

“Hey.” She says stepping out as the next song begins to play.

“Hey.” he’s unzipping his sweatshirt shedding his extra layer, leaving him in only his army green tank top, an illustration of a mermaid designed on its center. He throws his sweatshirt on the chair in the corner, breathing in the humid difference of the musky station.

“So, ready for me to take over?” He says. She was just standing there.

“Oh! Yeah.” She steps into the studio again just as the song ends and leans down over the microphone. Iwaizumi listens to her voice on the radio over the speakers playing in the shop.

“Hey ya’ll this is Britney, it’s been a blast listening with you all but alas I must depart and leave you in the hands of the musical tastes of Iwaizumi Hajime, here on you know where, The College Station.” He laughs. _Could she be anymore cheesy?_ She clicks off the radio and plays the next song as a transition.

“There you go.” she says coming back out.

“Okay, see you later then.” Iwaizumi says taking off his headphones.

“Bye Iwa-chaaaan” she says giggling. He stops, his hand on the doorknob, his chest feels stiff.

“Don’t, call me that.” He says. He doesn’t turn around, doesn’t look at her, just clutches the knob harder, would it come off if he pulled on it? He hears her footsteps stop.

“Sorry, it...it was just a joke.” She sounds scared.

“Just don’t call me that. Ever.” He’s going to explode, the pressure in his head is pushing on his eyes. He turns the knob and walks away. A few moments later he hears her leave, the sound of the little bell on the front door making its way to his ears over the song that’s still playing. He takes in another deep breath. For a moment Iwaizumi thought of him, his face, small and distorted in his mind, still only six years old. The music stops playing, and the silence screams for a moment before Iwaizumi goes on air again.

“Hey, this is Iwaizumi and you’re listening to The College Station, up next we’ve got a personal favorite, it’s Wake Up Call by Nothing but Thieves.” He lifts his finger from the button and clicks play on the song. He shakes the nerves out of his hands, loosening up his body. He takes another deep breath. _It’s been 12 years, I have to get over this, It's not my... it’s not my... Oikawa?_ Iwaizumi’s looking out the window. His face is walking past the window. The song is coming to an end. _Oikawa?_ He stands. The song ends. The silence lingers again. He slams the button down.

“Um, here’s the next song, it’s...it’s um, yeah.” He presses play and runs. He slides on the balls of his feet, slamming into the CD rack. His shoes squeaking on the floor. The rusty door handle almost breaks. He almost runs into the street.

_Oikawa._

_“_ Oikawa!” He whispers. It’s him.

“Oikawa!!” He says louder, walking faster.

“OIKAWA!” He reaches out and misses his shoulder. He grabs hold of the back of his powder pink t-shirt. He turns around, and Iwaizumi realizes, his lungs are burning, the fire is spreading up to his chest and filling his whole head, his lungs are catching fire because he’s holding his breath, his body is holding back his screams.

“Oikawa” he breaths. It’s him, it’s really him.

Oikawa stares at the guy, his black messy hair, his unblinking eyes, the small blush tinting his cheeks. He doesn’t know this guy.

“Can I help you?” He says raising an eyebrow. He brushes away Iwaizumi’s hand, still clutching onto his shirt. Iwaizumi feels his heart drop. Why does he not recognize him?

“You don’t recognize me?” Iwaizumi says. Oikawa feels guilty for a moment, should he recognize him?

“I’m sorry, no, I don’t. Do we know each other?”

“YES!! We grew up together, we’re best friends, you were... you were my only friend.” Iwaizumi holds his breath again. NO. He can’t cry, Oikawa can’t make him cry, that’s completely illogical. But, why... why doesn’t he remember him? Oikawa looks at him with pity in his eyes, like he’s the one lost. Maybe he is.

“You got hurt, when we were young, the first time, you tripped over my bugnet and cut open your knee. You got a scar. You’re favorite movie was ET because you loved aliens, and your favorite television show was Ancient Aliens on the History Channel, and your favorite thing to do is stargaze.” Iwaizumi stutters, spitting out as many Oikawa facts he can think of. Oikawa just stares a little wide eyed.

“When you were six, you fell down a hill and hit your head, I never, saw you wake up.” Iwaizumi almost chokes on his words. He has to convince him. Iwaizumi holds up his right hand, flat against the air. Oikawa’s eyes widen. He doesn’t remember, but he understands. He shoves his hand in his pocket feeling around for the stiff square. He pulls out the yellowed piece of paper and unfolds it. He holds the piece of paper in front of him, the small hand print still visible. Oikawa hands it to Iwaizumi, who still has his hand in the air. He takes the paper. He saved it?

“You put this in my hand?” Iwaizumi holds his hand up to his mouth. He nods.

Iwaizumi reaches out and this time takes Oikawa’s shoulder pulling him towards him. He wraps his arms around his neck hugging him as tight as he can as if the wind could blow him away like ashes of a dying memory. Oikawa stiffens, he’s being hugged by a stranger that doesn’t feel like a stranger. He’s feeling the heartbeat of a man who somehow makes his beat faster. He raises his hands and lets them rest on the man’s back. He’s crying into the shoulder of a stranger who feels like home.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is his best friend. Right?

What do they do now? Iwaizumi seems to be holding tighter as the minutes blow by, and Oikawa’s heart gets heavier. He doesn’t know what to do, but neither wants to let go. This feeling, this moment felt deep in their skin is vibrant, shaking their spirits that breath their hearts. Iwaizumi starts to move. And oikawa’s breath suddenly feels cold. They feel the warmth they’ve been deprived of. 

“Are you going here?” Iwaizumi asks, rubbing at his eyes. Oikawa is doing the same, he nods smiling a little. Why is he crying?

“Tell me your name?” Oikawa says. Iwaizumi stops. He really doesn’t remember him. 

“Iwaizumi, Hajime.” Oikawa smiles. Iwaizumi. His smile widens. His lips part and something bubbles out of him, his chest bounces as he giggles, his eyes scrunching up at the corners. He covers his mouth with the back of his hand, the little hiccups spilling out, overflowing with what’s been building up for years. Iwaizumi just watches, his smile as wide as oikawa’s blush, giggling along with him. 

“I’m so sorry, I...I don’t... I don’t know why... I’m... laughing!” He says between breaths. His sides are starting to hurt. Iwaizumi shrugs, shaking his head. A car drives by and the music from the radio lifts into the air. The radio. 

“Oh shit!” Iwaizumi looks at his watch. 

“Were you going anywhere before?” He asks. Oikawa’s giggles have calmed down allowing him to shake his head no. 

“Good” Iwaizumi grabs his hand and begins pulling him in the other direction. He’s running against the crowd, weaving his way between bodies, looking back to make sure Oikawa is still there, is still real. And he is, he’s there running wide eyed, his hand in Iwaizumi’s and for a moment, for an infinitely small flutter of a heartbeat Iwaizumi is six years old again, running through the forest outside their houses, chasing butterflies, and aliens, play King and knight, and oikawa’s there with him, heart beating just as fast. 

The station is silent when Iwaizumi and Oikawa enter. This is not a good thing. Iwaizumi’s still holding onto Oikawa’s hand. He tugs him among the isles heart still beating, breath still heavy. Oikawa’s tingling, his body vibrating with the adrenaline of being pulled through the crowd, he doesn’t know what to do with the energy, so he bounces on his heels. Iwaizumi lets go of Oikawa’s hand and enters the studio leaving Oikawa on the outside while he announces the next song. The music starts playing and Iwaizumi’s head pops out again. 

“Come on in!” He says with a nod pushing the door open for Oikawa. Oikawa steps into the little studio, the room consisting of a corner desk with a microphone and a computer with music options on it. Iwaizumi enters a few moments later carrying a beanbag and two cokes.

Oikawa sinks into the bean bag as Iwaizumi settles on the floor in front of him with the computer and microphone. 

“Will that work down here?” Oikawa asks. Iwaizumi looks up and shrugs. 

“I don’t know, guess we’ll find out.” He pops open his coke and takes a sip. Oikawa sits there watching him, what is he doing? He doesn’t even know this guy, right? He said he was his best friend, no one in their right mind would use that to abduct someone, because most people aren’t missing six years of their memory of which they know they had a best friend but don’t have any clue who that is. Mom! Mom would know. Oikawa pulls out his phone and opens up his mom’s messages. 

_ “Was my best friend’s name Iwaizumi Hajime?”  _ He stares at the words for a moment before pressing send. The phone flashes a ‘delivered’ under it and then a ‘read at 1:02 pm’ and then the bubbles appear. They wave. He watches. They wave. He watches and then the bubbles pop, and the message appears. 

_ “YES!!! THAT’S IT HOW DID YOU KNOW????” _ her message reads. 

_ “I can’t believe i forgot!”  _ says her next. 

_ “You guys were inseparable and I know that’s a cliche mom thing to say but it’s true you would have so many sleepovers and playdates we used to keep some of his clothes over at our house. You used to wear them after the accident. That, godzilla shirt you loved!”  _ she’s rambling. 

_ “That was his, and those blue shorts you used to say was you're favorite color! That was his too! There’s more but I can’t remember!”  _ The bubbles jump. 

_ “How do you know his name? How’s college? How’s your dorm.”  _ She’s being a mom. Oikawa responds as her messages keep coming.

_ “I’ll tell you everything later.”  _  the messages stop and there’s a pause. She’s either going to demand or agree, she only ever does either. 

_ “OKAY!!!!”  _ she says. He can still picture her overly enthusiastic smile, and joy in her voice when she says that. He’s going to miss her. The realization of what she said settles. The guy sitting in front of him, sipping a coke and watching him text his mom, is his best friend. Oikawa feels lighter.  _ Iwaizumi,  _ he thinks. 

“Everything okay?” Iwaizumi asks. Oikawa nods, smiling. His smile feels different. How can his smile feel different? It feel different, it feels...warmer. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is this a date?

“August 3rd!!!!” Iwaizumi shouts. Oikawa nods laughing at Iwaizumi’s outburst. 

“You were in a coma for a month and...” he counts on his fingers. 

“10 day?” Wait was he? 

“Actually, I don’t know how long I was gone? They never told me when I fell?” Oikawa says. Iwaizumi takes a sip of his second coke. 

“June 24.” he says. 

“You remember?” Oikawa’s brows furrow, it's been 12 years and he still remembers. Iwaizumi stares at him. 

“Um yeah, it was pretty traumatic for me when I was younger, I remember certain things.” He lies. The little things are all there with the rest of every minute of that day, he remembers everything.

“So what about the paper? In my hand?” Oikawa asks. The room gets quieter.

“Hold on.” Iwaizumi puts the microphone to his lips. 

“Well we’ve got a few requests on our website so let's listen in to some of theses, here's Rollercoaster by Bleachers.” The song begins playing a few seconds later. Oikawa bobs his head. He has this song on his favorites playlist. He closes his eyes listening to the words. 

“So come a little closer...” he mumbles along. His shoulders bounce with him. Oikawa feels Iwaizumi’s hands and follows his lead. He’s standing, his hand in Iwaizumi’s, the music playing louder than their own heartbeats, their feet pounding the floor. 

“It was such a rollercoaster.” He shouts. He moves to the rhythm. He spins in a little circle almost falling on Iwaizumi but he holds him up laughing. 

“some killer queen you are” Iwaizumi sings. Oikawa puts his hands above his head jumping with every thumping heartbeat and drum beat he feels. The song slows and Oikawa waits for it to pick up again. When it does Iwaizumi pretends to be playing the guitar and Oikawa bobs his head and then they fall against the wall, the song ending and the room silences with all but their laughter. 

“I don’t think I’ve danced like that since middle school.” Oikawa says. 

“We used to have dance parties all the time, just the two of us. But they were mostly just you dancing like a nerd and me sulking in the corner watching you. You were the one with all the rhythm back then.” Iwaizumi says, smiling up at the ceiling. 

“Really?”  

“Mhhm” Iwaizumi pulls the computer towards them clicking the next song without any introduction.  

“So how come you haven’t danced like that since middle?” Iwaizumi asks to make conversation, and because with all the time he’s missed from Oikawa’s life, he want to know every minute of what he missed. 

“I went to a school dance and all the guys said I looked gay and to stop dancing like that.” 

“That’s fucked up.” 

“Yeah well jokes on them, cause freshmen year in highschool, I came out as gay.” Oikawa takes a sip of his coke. Iwaizumi looks at him, frozen. He doesn’t know why he’s so surprised, it’s not that big of a deal, Iwaizumi himself is bisexual, so why, why is his heart sputtering. 

“Cool.” Iwaizumi says. Oikawa’s studying him, his eyes heavy with concentration, like he’s reading into Iwaizumi’s every racing heartbeat and thought.

“You don’t have a problem with that do you?” Oikawa asks eyebrows forward. Iwaizumi’s heart drops. 

“No, not at all, I’m actually Bi myself, so I...I wouldn’t have a problem.” He stumbles over his words, trying not to show the heat rushing to his head. There’s a knock at the door and a woman’s head pops in. 

“Tracy hey. Is it time for your shift already?” Iwaizumi pulls himself up off the floor, picking up the computer and microphone with him. The song ends and he goes on air. 

“Alright guys it's time for another change, keep on listening to you know where, the college station, I’m Iwaizumi Hajime handing it off to the punk master Tracy!” He clicks off and fixes the microphone position, smiling up at the woman with numerous piercings. Oikawa waves hello awkwardly. His heart is racing a little, like they were just caught doing something they weren’t supposed to. All they were doing was talking. Oikawa looks at his phone, the white little numbers. It’s 4 pm. He’s been here for three hours? How long were they talking, how long were they dancing, they didn’t even play that many songs, they didn’t even talk about much, just like the coma, and middle school and a little bit of highschool, and his mother, and how the fuck did he sit here for three hours talking to this guy? He gathers up the coke cans and skirts past Tracy to dump them out. He has to get going, he’s been there for too long, but he doesn’t want to leave. Iwaizumi follows Oikawa as he thinks, waving bye to tracy who's already opening her playlist. Iwaizumi doesn’t know what they should do next, he doesn’t want to leave Oikawa but he’s not doing anything that he can invite him to, unless...

“Hey, do you like poetry?” He ask. Oikawa turns his attention back to Iwaizumi. 

“Yeah, I used to write it actually.” He says. Iwaizumi is a little surprised at that but then again. 

“Do you wanna meet up later for an open mic night at the cafe on the corner, a buddy of mine runs it and I play background music for the poets sometimes.” Oikawa wants to say yes before he’s even done talking, but the words get clasped in his throat, and he ends up just coughing instead. 

“You okay?” Oikawa nods. 

“Yeah, I’d love to come.” Is this a date? Would it be weird if it was a date? It’s probably not a date. Oikawa has to calm his mind before he accidentally blurts out his thoughts. 

“Great, if you want you could read some, it would be really cool to hear.” Iwaizumi says. 

“Sure” shit, why’d he agree to that, all his old poetry is shit. Oikawa’s mind is bouncing off the walls of his skull, he feels so frazzled, like a fireworks gone rogue inside him.

Iwaizumi fiddles with his jacket, well Kyoutani and Yahaba will be happy, and he’s got another place to go with Oikawa. It’s still so awkward. 

“Well i’ve got to go get my guitar, but I’ll meet you... you don’t know where the cafe is do you?” Iwaizumi asks. Oikawa shakes his head.

“And I don’t know the street names either.” it's kinda the truth. 

“Okay well what dorm building are you in? I’ll come and get you” Iwaizumi suggests a little too willingly. 

“Building 3, room 417.” Oikawa tries to sound less eager but fails as he spits out his room number. Iwaizumi laughs and hands Oikawa his phone. 

“I’ll come get you around 7 and we’ll walk over together.” 

“Okay” Oikawa types in his phone number. His head feels a little numb. 

“It’ll be great, the guys are gonna love you.” Iwaizumi takes his phone and waves as he steps off the curb. Oikawa waves back unsure what’s going to happen next but hopping his heart will learn to calm down. He’s watching Iwaizumi’s back get smaller when his phone vibrates in his back pocket. He pulls it out and looks at Iwaizumi’s message, It’s an emoji, the little yellow face with one eye closed, sticking his tongue out at him. Oikawa laughs.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa is very nervous and Iwaizumi plays his guitar.

Oikawa didn’t know what to do when he got home, so he sat on his bed and texted his mom, and told her about Iwaizumi. She freaked out like he expected her too. By 5:30 he’s bored again, mom had to go start dinner cause her best friend was coming over.

“Well, I guess I better jump in the shower.” Oikawa says to himself. He strips as he walks to the bathroom, tossing the clothes on the floor by his bed as he does, and stops in front of the mirror to examine his body. He runs his fingers over the little tattoo on his right hip, the small little handprint identical to the one on the paper. It was stupid he knows, but for so long, that paper, was all that felt real about his memories, like he could read its past if he looked close enough. He runs his fingers through his hair and grabs his towel and his phone. His roommates aren’t scheduled to move in until next week, so he has the dorm to himself. He starts the music and turns the temperature to hot, standing under the water as it grows hotter and hotter until he has to turn it down because it’s starting to burn his skin. He should be freaking out, he just met his best friend, he’s never had a best friend, no one ever felt right, he never felt comfortable enough to be himself in order to make a best friend, until now. He washes his hair and runs his body soap over his skin until the bubbles are pooling at his feet. He bounces up and down to the beat of his music, standing under the water until he feels the soap is out of his hair. The nozzle squeaks when he turns the water off. He pushes back the shower curtain and wraps his towel around his waist. The hot shower makes everything feel colder when he comes out, his skin rises with goosebumps as he tiptoes into his room and shuts the door. He has to make sure to turn down the ac when he leaves so it’s not so cold when he comes back. He wraps another towel around his head and rubs the water out of his hair, leaving the strands damp and falling in front of his face. He checks the time, it’s only 6:22. Iwaizumi said he’d be here at 7 so he’s got time to pick something cute to wear. Oikawa checks his phone, It’s going to be 22 degrees tonight, he pulls up his messages and texts Iwaizumi,

 _“Is it cold in the coffee shop? Or warm?”_ he asks. The bubbles pop up as soon as the message reads delivered.

 _“They keep it kinda cold so people will want hot drinks. So like 22, 23 c.”_ He responds. That’s not that cold, Oikawa pulls out his favorite blue briefs and a pair of skinny jeans. His closet is still organized like it always starts out before he actually starts wearing things. He looks through his shirts on the hangers for the one he feels the most comfortable in, the soft one with a silly alien on it, that’s sticking his tongue out and putting up a piece sign. There’s a knock on the door. Oikawa looks at his phone’s clock confused. It’s only 6:35? He pulls the shirt over his head and goes to answer the front door. He peers through the peephole and sees iwaizumi looking up at him the curve of the hole making him look distorted. He opens the door.

“Hey,” Oikawa says. Iwaizumi’s got his guitar case in hand the black leather covered in stickers of music festivals and bands. He’s wearing one of those skin tight hooded shirts and skinny jeans. Oikawa lets his eyes hover over his stomach before he snaps back to earth and steps aside for him to come in. Why’s he early?

“You’re early.” He says closing the door behind him.

“Yeah, I’m usually not doing anything so I always end up getting there really early, I usually just hang out at the coffee shop until the poets start showing up at like 7:15, I’m not good at waiting for things.” He says scratching the back of his head, trying to hide his blush. Iwaizumi puts his case down in front of the couch that sits in the common room.

“Okay well let me just get my sweatshirt and shoes on.” Oikawa says shuffling off to his room. He ruffles through his sock drawer for his ankle socks that won’t roll under his heel in his converse. Iwaizumi knocks on the door frame of his room, looking up at the ceiling with awe as he examines the poster that spreads out over it.

“That’s amazing.” He says turning in a circle. Oikawa looks up at it as he slides his foot into his purple converse.

“Thanks, I found it online and had to buy it. My room, back home, had um... had a skylight,” He laces up the other shoe.

“so I um don’t feel comfortable if I can’t see the stars.” The poster swirls with blues and greens and purples, white stars scattered around it.

“It glows in the dark too.” He says standing next to Iwaizumi in the center of his room looking up. Iwaizumi moves towards the lightswitch.

“Can I?” he ask. Oikawa nods and moves to close the blinds. The blinds stutter close darkening the room slightly.

“Close the door too.” Oikawa says nodding at it with his head. He looks up and closes his eyes until he hears the click of the door and feels the darkness around him, that emptiness that feels so filing in the silence of his room, his heartbeat echos. He opens them and smiles. The stars above him shine brighter than the real ones in the city, thousands of white specks painted to look like burning souls in the depth of someone’s heart, the darkness isn’t empty, it's filled with trillions upon trillions of colors and lights that vibrate next to each other. When he closed the door and the room fell dark, Iwaizumi intended to look at the stars, but he found better ones. He looked over and saw Oikawa with his eye closed waiting, when he opened them he saw the brown in Oikawa’s eyes swimming with the reflection of the stars, glowing flecks of blue and green floating around like millions of galaxies burning in his soul painted in his eyes. He flips the lights on and Oikawa looks over at him, the light in his eyes dimming but still there, still glowing in the imprint of his memory.

“We should go.” Iwaizumi says looking at his watch.

“It’s 6:45.” He says. Oikawa nods and grabs his thin sweatshirt. Following Iwaizumi out the door, turning the lights out behind him.

The nightlife of the little college town is downturned, lights of a few coffee houses flickering in the distance, the music from different restaurants mingling in the lamp lights as the sun sets behind them.

“The nightlife’s been pretty calm since I got here, I’m guessing it’ll pick up once classes start and more students get to campus.” Iwaizumi says holding the door open for Oikawa. The coffee house is set up with coffee tables around the coffee counter and line, but beanbags and couch seats around the stage where Oikawa assumes the poets perform.

“Iwaizumi!” A guy with bleached hair and eyeliner calls out to him.

“Hey Kyoutani.” He wave and calls him over.

“Oikawa, this is Kyoutani, he goes here too, but he’s a year younge cause he’s a fucking genius and graduated early. Oikawa holds up a piece sign and smiles.

“Hi.” He says.

“You Iwaizumi’s new boy toy?” Kyoutani says with a crooked smile. Oikawa instantly feels his face flush while Iwaizumi shoves Kyoutani’s head to the side.

“Shut the fuck up, he’s an old friend.” He says. Kyoutani smiles and dodges Iwaizumi’s attack.

“Sorry, sorry. I forgot this one’s still smitten for someone.” Iwaizumi clasps his head under his arm.

“Shut it Mad dog.” He says. But Kyoutani keeps talking.

“Wrote him love letters and everything.”

“Apparently he lost himmmummmwy” Iwaizumi clasps his hand over Kyoutani’s mouth and stands there with his arm around his shoulder and hand cutting off his voice, smiling. Oikawa giggles at the sight, his laughter coming out like a bubble. Kyoutani bites down on Iwaizumi’s hand making him shout.

“You bit me, you little mutt.” Kyoutani laughs and escapes from Iwaizumi’s grasp hiding behind Oikawa who’s still giggling at the two bickering.

“You can’t hide behind him.” Iwaizumi grabs Oikawa’s hand and pulls him away from Kyoutani standing between them.

“You’re mine, Mad dog. Get your ass over here.” Iwaizumi is still holding his hand until Kyoutani runs in the other direction and Iwaizumi goes after him for a few feet until another voice chimes in.

“Hey numbskulls stop fooling around. Kentarou can you come help me get some more coffee beans from the big fridge?” Kyoutani perks up at the sound of his name forgetting Iwaizumi and putting all his focus on the brown haired guy. When he runs off Iwaizumi returns to Oikawa shaking his head.

“That guy can be such a pain in the ass sometimes.” He says.

“Who's the other one?” Oikawa asks.

“The brown haired one? That’s Kyoutani’s boyfriend, Yahaba, he’s an ass as well, just less of a goof.” Iwaizumi puts his hand in his pockets and picks up his guitar with the other.

“So what do you want? You still like hot chocolate?” He asks. Oikawa looks at his smile, that wide white smile and agrees.

“Yeah, I’ll have that.” He says, He doesn’t remember ever having hot chocolate, the taste is empty in his memory. But that smile, so sure and knowing, his knowledge of his past expands beyond his own. Iwaizumi knows his heart better than he does. He watches the back of his head as he walks up to the counter. Oikawa makes his way over to the couches and bean bags and takes a seat at one of the couches in front of the stage, pulling his legs up and crossing them under him. People are starting to populate the little cafe, scattering themselves in little clumps throughout the room, their chatter floating around like bubbles of air. He feels awkward, like he’s not entirely sure what he’s doing, why he’s here, he just knows he is. Iwaizumi sets his hot chocolate on the little table and sit across from him sipping on his own coffee.

“So are you going to read something tonight or no?” He asks leaning forward a bit. Oikawa’s heart jumps. He has a poem in his pocket, but he’s not sure if he should read it.

“No, I mean I brought one, but...” He trails off picking up the warm cup of chocolate. It sloshes in his cup, almost spilling over.

“Then you should read it.” Iwaizumi says, he looks so confident, certain of his words, his heart is probably steady, like the rest of him, unwavering and calm. Oikawa wishes for that calm, yearns for it to consume him, and push away this erratic heart of his that's beating so heavily. He wishes to be as confident as the mask he wears, the mask that seems to fall apart when he’s next to Iwaizumi. He feels feeble and weak in the face of this man, trembling knees and broken bones. He stops thinking, and responds.

“Okay, I’ll read it.” He doesn’t want to back down, so maybe reading this poem in front of him will help, maybe being a naked soul is what he needs to do.

“Good, I’m excited to hear it.” Iwaizumi says taking another sip of his coffee. Is that coffee?

“What are you drinking?” Oikawa asks leaning forward to try and peer over the glass edge of his cup, but sees nothing.

“Green tea with honey.” He says, tipping the cup so Oikawa can look upon the green drink with golden highlights. Green tea? He would have never thought such a man as Iwaizumi would drink green tea.

“I would have never guessed you liked green tea?” He says.

“Yeah, most people don’t, but it’s my favorite. My mother used to make it whenever I was upset, she’d curl me up in this grey sweater of hers and put green tea in my hands and tell me to let the heat of the leaves warm my heart.” He looks into the tea, watches it swirl around as his eyes reflect it.

“Iwaizumi.” Yahaba calls him from the stage.

“Let's get set up it’s almost time to start.” He says adjusting the microphone. Iwaizumi nods and grabs his guitar case. He doesn’t say anything, just smiles as he walks away. Oikawa takes his first sip of chocolate, the milky liquid warms his tongue, making his taste buds tingle with the sweetness of the chocolate, and then it’s gone, and all he can taste is the warmth of the milk. He takes another sip and puts the cup down. People start to sit down, and Kyoutani soon joins Oikawa on the couch to watch everyone. Oikawa pulls out the little slip of paper from his pocket and unfolds it, the words scribbled on with pen, smears with tears from when he wrote it. He doesn’t remember why he was crying, only that he was, that he was both in pain, and relief. The lights dim, and Yahaba taps on the mic.

“Evening everybody, we’re going to get started with our monthly poetry night here at Milk Bread cafe, as you can see we have our regular guitarist here so for any newcomers make sure to give him a few words to set the mood for your poem, so without anymore if you could all welcome our first poet...” Yahaba introduces the first person. Iwaizumi sits on a chair behind him, his acoustic guitar sitting on his leg as he plucks a few of the strings and adjusts the microphone. The poet gets up on stage and mumbles a few words to him, Iwaizumi just nods, and begins to strum. The strumming is soft and stays on a continuous note, the poem is anxious and the repetitiveness of the guitar makes the heart uneasy strengthening the words of the poet. When he’s finished people snap, and another comes on stage. Yahaba has joined them on the couch, cuddling up next to Kyoutani to listen. Oikawa looks down at his poem, can he really read this? He doesn't know when he’s going up, or if they’ll like it, what if he starts crying again, He’s always been somewhat of a crybaby. He wants to read the poem, but he’s scared it’ll hurt when he speaks. Four poets have already read, and Iwaizumi has played behind them, matching the mood of each one. Oikawa looks at the clock on the wall and watches the hands tick for a moment. It reads 8:15. How could time go so quickly earlier today, but now, it moves as if they were infinite, as if the clock tells no time but only numbers? Oikawa tries to ease his nerves by taking another sip of his hot chocolate, but he must have been drinking it subconsciously because all that's left in the cup are the clumps of melted chocolate that weren’t fully mixed in. When Oikawa looks up from the chocolate he meets Iwaizumi’s eyes, watching him from up on stage. The air is made heavy with the words of the poem, and the strumming of Iwaizumi’s guitar, like the hot chocolate that used to be in his cup, and then he looks away, and all that’s left is the warmth of his gaze.

Iwaizumi keeps strumming, the strings rough under his fingers, listening to the rhythm of the poet’s voice trying to match the aura they give off. Oikawa’s been sitting their for over an hour and for once Iwaizumi just wants to sit on the couch and listen to the poets with him, he doesn’t want to play his guitar, he wants to sit with Oikawa and listen. His fingers keep fumbling, and he hopes no one is noticing, but he keeps forgetting how to play. He looks down at the list of poets that Yahaba left next to the stage, there are only 2 left, it's a short night tonight. The poem finishes and the next poet comes on stage,

“Soft melody, kinda warm.” She says as she unfolds her paper. Iwaizumi nods and starts strumming again, using only a few cords and rotating them to create different melodies. Oikawa’s playing with the paper in his lap, folding and unfolding it, he’s nervous. Does he want to do this? Or is he only doing it because Iwaizumi said he should? Did Iwaizumi push him, did he pressure him too much? Iwaizumi stops playing when he notices everyone is staring, the poet’s finished and walking off the stage but he was still playing. Yahaba Starts to get up but Iwaizumi holds out his hand for him to stop. Yahaba gives him a questioning look but sits back against Kyoutani’s arm. Iwaizumi looks at Oikawa with his eyebrow raised. Oikawa nods and unfolds his legs, making his way up to the stage.

“What’ll it be?” Iwaizumi asks sitting down with his guitar again. Oikawa pauses looking down at the unfolded paper. The words look shaky, like they're about to fall off the page, he feels nervous, his stomach twisting in a knot pulling down on his heart.

“Lonely.” He says. He looks down at the page again.

“Does that makes sense?” He asks looking up. Iwaizumi’s smiling at him, he nods, understanding just what emotions are moving inside of him. Oikawa stands in front of the microphone, sensing how close the metal is to his lips, he takes a breath in and looks at Iwaizumi from the corner of his eye.

“I... I never told you.”

“Because I can’t remember.” His heart is racing.

“I’m broken inside.”

“My...my mind is swimming with this fog.”

“I’m breaking, because I’m falling.”

“In the morning I can’t wake up”

“Because my nightmare is real.”

“In the darkness I keep hearing you scream”

“In the morning I think it’s raining”

“I hope for rain.”

“Because it reminds me of you”

“But I still can’t remember.”

“It was raining”

“You kept apologizing.”

“I can’t remember.”

“In the darkness I wade through this water.”

“Lost to all this hope.”

“I’m suffocating.”

“I can’t remember you.” Oikawa stops and looks up from the paper, he can’t see their faces, but he can hear their breathing, he can’t hear them talking, but he can hear them waiting. He looks back down and continues.

“When I touch my scars”

“I feel your hands.”

“My body has memories.”

“That my mind does not.” His hands are shaking. He can’t see the paper very well.

“I’m sorry”

“I’m sorry I can’t remember you”

Oikawa stares at the empty space below the last line, the poem never did feel finished. He looks up at the crowd, feels the air suffocating him as they hold their breaths. He folds the paper up and starts to put it back in his pocket. The snaps don’t come all at once. They start at the back, and slowly, painfully fill the room. Oikawa breathes. Yahaba takes his place at the mic once Oikawa steps off the stage. He shuffles his way to the back, trying to find his thoughts.

Iwaizumi puts his guitar on the stand, and watches Oikawa move through the crowd until he walks out the front door. Iwaizumi hops off the stage, and pushes past people who are starting to leave. The air is brisk outside. Oikawa is standing on the curb.

“Thats was amazing.” Iwaizumi says.

“Thanks.” Oikawa says. His voice feels weak. He can’t believe he actually read it. He read it. His heart is pounding against his rib cage.

“Did you like your hot chocolate?” Iwaizumi asks taking a step closer.

“Yeah, it was delicious.” He mumbles. He’s still frazzled, his hands still shaking, his breath still choking.

“Good, well I’m gonna go get my things, wait here okay?” Iwaizumi says taking a few steps backwards.

“Kay.” Oikawa turns his head upwards to the stars. There should be more up there, but the lights from the town, from the city a few miles away, snuff them out with their artificial beauty, with their mechanical life. Oikawa wants to see the stars like they’re meant to be, consuming the darkness, expanding the night sky until it glows with color not even the daytime knows.

Iwaizumi runs back to the table to grab Oikawa’s sweatshirt, and his guitar from off the stage. He orders another hot chocolate from the counter and waits. Kyoutani makes it for him. Oikawa didn’t notice but Iwaizumi had stopped playing during the poem, when he started talking about the rain. When he said he woke up hoping for it to rain, Iwaizumi stopped playing. Kyoutani puts the to go cup in front of him but doesn’t let Iwaizumi pick it up.

“Is he the one you wrote the letters for?” He asks, his eyes narrow and serious. Iwaizumi nods swallowing at the mention of the letters. Kyoutani lets go of the cup,

“Good luck.” He says as Iwaizumi grabs the hot chocolate with his free hand and turns towards the door. Oikawa is still at the curb, head turned towards the stars. Iwaizumi walks up besides him and looks up at them too.

“They’re a little dim. Nothing like what's on your ceiling.” he says. Oikawa looks over at him meeting his eyes in the light of the cafe window.

“Here, I got you another hot chocolate. Since you said the other one was delicious.” Oikawa takes the coffee cup, feeling its warmth spread through his fingers.

“It’ll warm your heart too.” Iwaizumi adds a moment later.

“Thank you.” He says smiling, and brings the cup to his lips. Iwaizumi watches as he presses his lips to the cup, his nose and cheeks tinted pink from the night air. It said it was only going to be in the low 20s, but this has to be in the teens.

“Want to walk back together?” Iwaizumi offers. Oikawa nods holding the cup close to his chest. They turn in the direction of the dorms and walk silently back to Oikawa’s dorm, the low night chatter keeping them company.

The dorm halls are quiet as well, small noises coming through the walls every now and then. Oikawa told Iwaizumi he didn’t have to walk him all the way up to his room, but he also didn’t protest when he said he didn’t mind. He’s been watching Iwaizumi’s hand for the past 5 min, wanting to reach out and wrap his fingers around it. They stop in front of Oikawa’s door, it’s still so early, but he doesn’t want to pester Iwaizumi.

“Thanks, for inviting me tonight. I kept wondering on my drive up here how I was going to make any friends, but I guess I’m not as bad as I thought” Oikawa says. Iwaizumi laughs.

“You always were the awkward one.” he says.

“For everyone else that is, no one seemed to get your personality.” Iwaizumi says smiling. Oikawa’s smile scrunches up his eyes as he nods his head hastily.

“Thats me.” He says giggling. They both laugh at Oikawa’s silliness until they slowly enter silence.

“Hey,” Oikawa says.

“Was this a date?” Iwaizumi freezes at the question. His heart beat doesn’t race, it just stops. He blinks and Oikawa tries to recover.

“I mean, if it’s not that’s fine, I was just kinda, hoping, maybe, it was-”

“Then yes.” Iwaizumi spits out. He takes a step forward, closer to Oikawa. Oikawa’s cheeks begin to flush, the heat rising up into his cheek. He looks away trying to hide it. His smile won’t go away either. He tries to cover his face but Iwaizumi leans forward in an effort to look.

“What’s this, is Oikawa blushing?” He says laughing. His face keeps getting hotter and hotter the pressure building in his cheeks from smiling. Iwaizumi reaches out and tries to lower Oikawa’s arms so Oikawa just turns around and covers his face with his hands.

“Alright alright, I’ll see you tomorrow Oikawa.” Iwaizumi says. Oikawa uncovers his face but doesn’t turn around.

“Wait.” He says and hears Iwaizumi’s feet stop.

“You’re not going to kiss me?” He says. Why did he just say that oh god. He covers his face again blushing at his own words. He hears Iwaizumi’s footsteps come closer then feels the pressure of his lips against the nape of his neck. The blush spreads to his ears.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”  He whispers and leaves Oikawa blushing in front of his dorm room.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next morning Oikawa wakes up sick, and Iwaizumi insist on taking care of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my best work, but it's alright! ENJOY!!

Time doesn’t pass like you think it would, sometimes time isn’t even something you think about, it just happens. Iwaizumi doesn’t text Oikawa in the morning, but he stares at his empty messages, outlining the letters of his name with his eyes. He wants to see him, but he doesn’t want to be working when he does. Iwaizumi looks at the little clock at the top of his screen, 10 am. His shift starts at 1, and he promised he’d help Kyoutani move into his dorm today at 5. What could they do? Iwaizumi turns on his back, staring up at his ceiling; his is so bare. He sits up. Iwaizumi opens his phone again and starts texting a friend. 

Oikawa’s bones are stiff, his muscles tighten when he moves and his head feels like a brick. He rolls out of bed the dim light from his open door too harsh for his sleep ridden eyes. He sniffs in a breath, his nose is clogged and his throat feels like someone rubbed it down with sand. He looks at his reflection, his red eyed puffy faced reflection. He walked home last night in the cold. He walked home from his date. He says it again in his head. It was a date. With Iwaizumi, a new face with such a familiar warmth. He rubs at his eyes. 

Iwaizumi open’s Oikawa’s messages. 

_ “Are you free at 12 tonight?”  _ he texts, waiting for the bubbles to appear. 

Oikawa’s phone vibrates on his bed, the buzz making its way to his ears. He shuffles over, the wood floors making his feet cold and his goosebumps rise. Picking up his phone and holding it close, his lips tilt at the sight of Iwaizumi’s message. Then fall again when the rush of a sneeze wakes him up to reality. 

_ “I can’t, I woke up sick.”  _ he types. Then quickly adds a sad emoji and one with a surgical mask. 

Iwaizumi slams his face into his pillow. He’s sick. How could he have gotten sick? Iwaizumi’s phone vibrates. 

_ “I’m gonna try and shed it off by tomorrow.”  _ Oikawa types. 

_ “Don’t do anything, I’m coming over.”  _ Iwaizumi sighs. Well that screwed his awesome idea. But what else could he do, he’s not going to make him come out when he’s sick. Iwaizumi hears his phone buzz, and watches as the messages start popping up. 

_ “No, Iwaizumi don’t.” _

_ “I don’t want you to get sick too.” _

_ “I know you’re reading these.”  _

_ “I don’t want you to get sick.”  _ Iwaizumi doesn’t respond just lets his phone buzz on his bed while he dresses. 

Oikawa lies on his bed furiously typing trying not to cough on the snot that’s running back into his throat. If Iwaizumi comes over he’s going to get sick and then they’ll really never be able to go on a proper date, it’ll just be a spiral of sickness. Oikawa continues to type. 

_ “IWAIZUMIIIII!!!!”  _ He slams his fingers on the exclamation mark until he thinks he might break the screen. It’s no use. He’s not listening. Oikawa lets his phone fall onto the bed beside him, as he enters a coughing fit that rips at his throat. His head is starting to pound with the immutable presence of his head cold. He rolls over and moans, covering his face with his blanket to block out the light streaming in from the window blinds. Oikawa stares at a stain on his bed sheet where a drop of melted chocolate landed. He watches it blankly for a few moments before he gets up to blow his nose. The dorm is so cold it’s no wonder he’s sick, he thinks, walking over to the thermostat and turning up the temperature to 23. He sits on the couch and looks at the blank tv screen he has yet to set up, mostly because whenever he tries to mess with technology it spontaneously combusts. There’s a knock at the door startling Oikawa in the noiseless room.

Oikawa gets up and puts his eye to the peephole. Iwaizumi looks up at him. Oikawa sighs and presses his forehead to the wood. 

“Go home Iwaizumi.” He says. 

“I came to take care of you, now open up.” He says. 

“No! You’ll just get sick and then we’ll both be stuck at home.” 

“I’m fine with that, as long as you’re there with me?” Iwaizumi says leaning a shoulder on the door. He can hear Oikawa laugh through it. 

“Sweet, but I don’t want you to get sick. You can see me tomorrow if I’m better. You can wait until then can’t you?” Oikawa says leaning his whole body on the door. God he’s tired. 

“Oikawa,” He says his name softly.

“I’ve spent the past 12 years thinking I lost you, now, I’ve finally got you back, and I don’t want to wait another minute to be with you. So no, I can’t wait until tomorrow, not anymore.” Iwaizumi waits, listening to Oikawa’s breath behind the door. The door unlatches. Oikawa opens the door slowly until it’s completely open. His wavy hair is stuck to the corners of his eyes and his nose and eyes are swollen red and glossy. Oikawa waves him in just as another coughing fit hits him. Iwaizumi is hit by a wave of growing heat when he walks in the door. He unzips his sweatshirt, shedding it onto the chair of the dining room table. Oikawa takes a seat on the couch and watches him. His shirt is loose, falling off one shoulder as he puts his sweatshirt on the back of a chair and a small bag on the counter. 

“I’m gonna make you some green tea, okay?” Iwaizumi says over his shoulder as he fills a pot with water a puts it on the stove. Oikawa’s kitchen is small, but usable.

“Is that the Iwaizumi specialty, green tea?” Oikawa asks laying his head down on the couch pillow. 

“No, it’s just the first thing I thought of when you said you were sick.” He says. 

“Why don’t you turn on the tv and distract your brain from the cold.” Oikawa looks in the direction of the tv, and visualizes the mass of wires that are behind it, cringing at the thought of putting it together. 

“It’s not hooked up.” He sighs. His head is pounding. He want to turn off the lights but Iwaizumi’s cooking. The sides of his head tense with pain, little vibrations that stab their way forward to the front of his brain making it hurt to blink. He shifts his body so he’s laying on his stomach his hands pressed against his thighs beneath him, turning his head so he doesn’t suffocate in the pillow. 

“Mmmmmmm. My heeaad.” he moans, pressing his forehead against the pillow. Iwaizumi comes over and puts the cup of tea on the table and sits next to it. 

“Here sit up.” He says. Oikawa complies with a groan as he sits up with his legs crossed under him. Iwaizumi reaches out and presses two fingers to both of Oikawa’s temples and begins to massage them slowly, moving in small circles in one direction, then in the other. Oikawa sighs in relief, the pressure in his head lifting as Iwaizumi’s fingers move. Oikawa closes his eyes. 

“Here drink the tea, it’ll help with the head ache and your sore throat.” He says pulling his fingers away to grab the tea. Oikawa nods and takes the tea, bringing the edge of the cup to his lips. The heat of the tea runs over the back of his throat, sparking pain then relief across it. Oikawa gulps it down as quickly as he can, the drink warming him from the inside out. Iwaizumi laughs at him. 

“Seems like you enjoyed that.” He says taking the cup from him. Oikawa smiles, avoiding his gaze as he feels the heat sink into his cheeks. Oikawa lays back against the armrest as Iwaizumi gets up to put the cup in the sink. 

“Do you think you can set up the tv?” Oikawa asks flopping his hand in the air, trying to call his attention. Iwaizumi walks up from behind the couch, and grabs his hand as it falls. Holding his hand between his palms he leans his elbows on the edge of the couch and kisses Oikawa’s wrist. 

“I don’t think I’ll be able to set it up quickly enough, so why don’t we just watch a movie on my laptop.” He says pressing his cheek against Oikawa’s palm. Oikawa looks up at him from the couch, and nods. 

“Here we can use the pullout bed in the other couch.” Oikawa says taking back his hand and sitting up. 

“Here don’t get up I’ll get it.” Iwaizumi says coming around to push Oikawa down by the shoulder. 

“Just tell me how to do it.” He says. Oikawa nods, feeling the pressure behind his eyes build up again. 

“Grab those straps that our under the cushions, and pull.” He says. He leans his head in his hand trying to loosen the strings, wrapping around the edges of his brain, cutting through him. 

“Okay now don’t let go and pull upwards a little.” Iwaizumi follows what he says pulling the bottom half into and upright position so that it’s leveled with the other half forming a large square couch bed. 

“That’s so cool.” He says sitting down on it. 

“Mhmm.” Oikawa says watching Iwaizumi as he bounces up and down slightly as it checking the springs. 

“There’s no way the school gave you this.” He says continuing to bounce. 

“No, my mother had it in storage and gave it to me when I moved in.” Oikawa rubs his palm against his forehead looking down. He rubs his nose with his other hand when his nose starts to drip. At least his throat is feeling better, kinda. Iwaizumi stops bouncing and looks at Oikawa. His head turned down, holding his temples like he’s trying to keep all his thoughts from leaving. Iwaizumi gets up for his computer and sets it on the bed.  

“Go you have any extra blankets?” He ask. Oikawa looks up, his eyes are still swollen, and his nose is still, pink. 

“Um no, but you can grab the comforter off my bed.” Iwaizumi nods, but before he leaves Oikawa reaches out and grabs his hand. 

“Could you get me my pillow too?” He asks trying to clear throat. Iwaizumi squeezes his fingers.

“Sure. Look for a movie on netflix, while I get them.” Oikawa nods and pulling the laptop onto his lap. Iwaizumi ventures into Oikawa’s room, and grabs the white comforter off the bed and the green pillow tucking them both under his arm. When he returns Oikawa is hovering over the computer flipping through movies on Netflix. 

“Find anything good?” He asks throwing the pillow against the armrest on the pullout couch. 

“Come on.” He says nodding his head in the direction of the couch. Oikawa picks up the computer off his lap and hands it to Iwaizumi before crawling to the inside of the couch. Iwaizumi sits next to him spreading the comforter over them and placing the computer between them. 

“My mom told me about this movie yesterday, she said it reminded her of me, and so I should watch it.” Iwaizumi looks at the screen while Oikawa cuddles into the blanket. 

“The Little Prince?” He says. Looking over at Oikawa, his eyes are closed but he nods. 

“Okay.” He says as he presses play and slides down next to Oikawa, his head leaning against the pillow. Oikawa doesn’t last very long, his eyes grew heavy as the music of the movie played in the background of his thought, before he let his mind drift somewhere too distant to return. Iwaizumi isn’t surprised when he sees Oikawa asleep, his face flushed with the warmth of the blanket, glowing slightly from the light of the computer. Iwaizumi shifts onto his side so he’s facing Oikawa completely. His face is soft, relaxed with the peace of relief. Iwaizumi shifts closer. Oikawa swallows and his lips part breathing through his mouth. The movie’s still playing in the background. Iwaizumi gets a little closer their noses almost touching, he can feel Oikawa’s breath on his lips. He pulls away his heart racing. He can’t do it. He can’t take their first kiss from him, he can’t steal that from him. He reaches up and brushes away the strands of hair falling into his eyes and stretches forward pressing his lips to Oikawa’s forehead. 

“I’m okay waiting a little longer, as long as you’re there when I wake up.” He whispers. Oikawa shifts closer to Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi sighs and closes his eyes.  


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time flies, when you're falling in love.

Iwaizumi never got sick. And he never stopped coming over. Every afternoon, Oikawa would expect, first the knock, then Iwaizumi’s arms around his waist, it became routine. Their life became routine, as the days began to grow shorter, the time they spent together, grew longer. Oikawa’s roommates moved in the week after he was sick, but he doesn’t see them much, their schedules don't match, so they’re usually not home until late when he’s already asleep. 

Classes start soon, and the life on the campus is starting to become more lively. Friends from Iwaizumi’s high school are moving in, and meeting Oikawa. There’ve been a few familiar faces from Oikawa’s region, but most never knew him other than a pretty face. 

The days have been passing like shooting stars, falling further and further into each other. Most of the days are spent at the coffee shop, or at the station while Iwaizumi works, strolling through the isles. Iwaizumi coming out and finding Oikawa dancing among the vinyl records, his hands in the air mingling with the dust that catches in the light coming down from the windows above. With Oikawa reading books in their new favorite window booth at the cafe on the corner. Iwaizumi tuning his guitar in the park on an afternoon too beautiful to be inside, Oikawa trying to climb the giant tree and almost falling, then standing with his arms in the air when he does while Iwaizumi takes a picture. 

The more time passes the more Oikawa becomes his old self. The first thing Iwaizumi notices, is the laugh. Oikawa hadn’t laughed until their fifth day out together, he had giggled, but he hadn’t laughed. Then with the rain beating hard on the window glass and Iwaizumi making a compelling argument about why green tea was better than hot chocolate he accidentally knocked over a serving tray with another tables order of sandwiches on it, causing the sandwiches to come crashing down on the head of the man sitting behind them. All Iwaizumi could do was apologize and try to clean him until the man shouted at him to stop. When he sat down again he was amazed to see Oikawa’s eyes tearing with laughter, trying to hold it in but failing. His giggle transcending into the small snort that made his whole body bounce and tremble with joy. Iwaizumi couldn’t help but smile and laugh as well. As time kept passing Oikawa smiled more, bright wide smiles that made Iwaizumi’s heart flutter, he reached out and grabbed Iwaizumi’s hand, swinging it as they walked along the sidewalk. His very essence seemed to be more colorful and vibrant, every day Iwaizumi saw more of the Oikawa he lost when he was six years old. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iwaizumi takes Oikawa on a date, at 1 am?

_ “Hey, you awake?”  _ Oikawa’s phone vibrates on his chest where it fell. Oikawa squints his eyes open into the darkness of his room.

_ “Oikawa!!”  _ His phone vibrates again. He hovers the phone above his face, blinking at the sudden exposure of light. 1 am? 

_ “I’m awake I’m awake, what up?” _ He types, laying the phone back down on his chest, letting his eyes drift closed until he feels the phone buzz again. 

_ “Get dressed and meet me in front of your dorm building.”  _ Oikawa peers at the phone. In front of his dorm? 

_ “But i’m tired...”  _ He types back and turns on his side. 

_ “I have a surprise for you! Just come. Please?”  _ Iwaizumi pleads with Oikawa’s sleepy mind. He sighs. This better be good. 

_ “Be down in a minute.”  _ Oikawa pushes back the comforters and rolls out of bed, his feet hitting the ice cold floor shocking him up and through his spine. He rummages through his drawers in the dark for a shirt. He can't see a thing, so he just pulls out the softest one he feels and puts it on over his head. Slipping on some jeans and his flip flops over his toes socks, he grabs his keys and phone and tiptoes out of the room. The hallway is too silent for Oikawa’s liking, the feeling that something’s going to come out and pounce him too strong. He takes the elevator down, and when the doors open, he sees Iwaizumi through the large windows in his jacket waiting. Oikawa shuffles out, his arms hugging himself for warmth, to where Iwaizumi stands. The campus is dark, lit by the street lamps that line the pathway. 

“What are we doing?” He asks shuffling closer until he’s standing with Iwaizumi’s arms around him, Oikawa’s head resting on his shoulder. 

“We’re going on a date.” Iwaizumi says with a smile, and pulls Oikawa closer, squeezing any desire to sleep out of him. 

“Where could we possible be going at 1 in the morning on a wednesday morning in september?” Oikawa says leaning back to look Iwaizumi in the eyes. His eyes seemed to glow greener at night, the dull lamp light glinting on the specks of gold that float around the center. Oikawa seemed to blush just looking at them. 

“You’ll see.” He says, letting his hands slide down Oikawa’s arms until he wraps their fingers together. 

“Come on!” he lets go of one of his hands and pulls him by the other. Oikawa stumbles along the pavement, until he falls in step with Iwaizumi. They walk for about 12 blocks before Iwaizumi stops and turns towards Oikawa. 

“Are we here?” Oikawa says shivering. Iwaizumi is still holding his hand. 

“Not yet.” He takes back his hand and begins unzipping his jacket. He walks around Oikawa and puts his jacket on his shoulder’s. 

“Close your eyes, I’ll lead you there.” He whispers in Oikawa’s ear from behind, his warm breath tickling his skin. 

“Iwaizumi, if I bump into a poll...” 

“I won’t let you bump into a poll I promise.” He says nudging Oikawa forward. Oikawa closes his eyes feeling the weight of Iwaizumi’s hands on his shoulders with every step. They’re going up a hill, the path is a little winding. 

“Iwaizumi, what are we doing?” He asks. But all he gets for a response it the hush of Iwaizumi’s chuckle. 

“Oikawa, how much do you like the stars?” Iwaizumi asks quietly. Oikawa can't answer at first, trying to understand the reason for such an odd question. 

“I don’t feel comfortable when I can’t see them.” He says, shifting his head in their direction, opening his eyes just a little to see their speckled light blur the darkness of the sky.

“Keep them closed.” Iwaizumi says pulling up on the hood of the jacket. Oikawa sighs in protest, but gives in anyway. The darkness behind his eyelids makes his head ache a little, trying to focus on the blobs that float about his eyelids. Oikawa walks cautiously, tapping his foot to check for anything that might trip him and reaching up to grab Iwaizumi’s hand every time he feels himself almost trip over nothing.

“Relax, I’ve got you.” Iwaizumi says eventually, his hands shifting from Oikawa’s shoulders to his waist. Oikawa sucks in a breath when he feels his fingers squeeze his torso. They continue walking up the path until he feels Iwaizumi pull him to a stop. 

“Can I open my eyes?” He asks raising an eyebrow trying to mentally locate Iwaizumi around him. 

“Okay. Now!” Oikawa opens his eyes to Iwaizumi with his hands in the air in front of a domed building, the lights dark and another man standing by the doorway. He’s not sure what the building is. 

“Where are we?” He asks, approaching Iwaizumi reaching out for his hand. 

“My friend’s uncle is the owner of the planetarium here, so I got him to open it up tonight for us.” Iwaizumi presses his forehead to Oikawa’s temple watching Oikawa’s lips spread to his cheeks. 

“Are you serious?” Oikawa says looking up at the domed building. Iwaizumi nods excitedly. 

“Just us?” Oikawa asks. 

“Just us.” He says. Oikawa feels his stomach spark with joy, the energy pulsing inside of him like waves. He starts to bounce on the balls of his feet. 

“Well let's go in.” Oikawa says grabbing Iwaizumi’s hand and tugging him towards the door. Iwaizumi stumbles and follows as Oikawa pulls him into the building. Matsukawa opens the door for them and follows them inside. Oikawa peers at the black haired man following them as he follows the signs towards the planetarium. His smirk makes his eyes look haunted with stories still untold. Oikawa stops running under the archway of the planetarium entrance, looking into the darkness excitedly. Iwaizumi turns towards the dark haired man.

“Thanks for doing this Matsu.” He says bumping fists with him.

“No problem, thanks for the tickets.” Oikawa can see the bump of a tongue piercing when he talks. 

“I’ll be back around 4 am, so if you leave before then, lock up, if not, I’ll see you then.” 

“Yeah sure.” Iwaizumi takes the keys from Matsukawa and shoves them in his pocket.

“This is amazing.” Oikawa says walking down the aisle, Iwaizumi walks behind him waving to Matsu who’s turning everything on before he leaves. The stars light up above them, moving slowly across the ceiling, illuminating the entire room. Iwaizumi watches Oikawa, his eyes glued to the ceiling, his face lit up by the white light of the stars. 

“We can sit anywhere?” He asks eyes wide with awe. 

“Anywhere you want! The whole place is ours for the night.” Iwaizumi repeats. Oikawa turns in circles looking for the perfect place to sit. But they all seem inadequate. Iwaizumi notices his indecision and takes one of his hands. The isle leading to the center isn’t long as Iwaizumi lead’s Oikawa by the hand towards the circle. Iwaizumi reaches up and removes the jacket from Oikawa’s arms and shoulders, folding it and laying it down on the carpeted floor. Oikawa sits down next to Iwaizumi and lays his head on the jacket looking up at the center of the domed building every star visible as if for lightyears. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The stars are truly beautiful tonight.

They sat there, in the dark for sometime before the silence was broken, the stars their only light source, swarming their faces. Iwaizumi turns on his side resting his head on his hand. Oikawa’s smile hasn’t faded since they walked in, the stars in his eyes brighter than ever, than even the ones above them.

“Best one so far.” Oikawa whispers, the words passing over his lips almost as a simple breath. 

“What is?” Iwaizumi asks. Oikawa turns his head towards him smiling with his eyes closed. 

“This planetarium.” He responds. 

“I used to hate them when I was little.” Oikawa says looking back up, leaning back on his arm. 

“Yeah, you used to say: The stars aren’t bright enough, not like the real ones.” Iwaizumi says to him. Oikawa’s smile leaves his face, as he stares over at Iwaizumi. 

“How, did you...” he trails off. Iwaizumi laughs almost forgetting he... he doesn’t remember. 

“On your sixth birthday, before the accident, we went to the planetarium. We were so amazed at first, but I remember when we came out, you said you hated it, because the stars weren’t bright enough.” Iwaizumi laughs thinking of that day, the crease between Oikawa’s brow was so thick he thought he might break his own forehead. 

“You remember that?” Oikawa asks. Iwaizumi nods. 

“I remember a lot of things.” He says, he’s about to continue when he catches a glimpse of Oikawa’s face, the somber look of confusion in his eyes, you could see his heart racing just by looking in his eyes. 

“But that's all just child’s play, I want to know more about you in middle and high school.” Iwaizumi says. He doesn’t want Oikawa to feel lost because he can’t remember, he doesn’t want him to hurt. Oikawa looks up and swallows, sighing in a jagged breath that trembles in his lungs. 

“Well, um I was pretty nerdy, actually, which didn’t help me make many friends.” Oikawa starts off shaky. Iwaizumi doesn’t take his eyes off him, taking in every word as it falls from Oikawa’s lips, drinking up the history, the memories he missed. 

“Were you bullied?” Iwaizumi asks inching his body a little closer.

“Um, not really, I mean they called me names and everything. They came up with these puns for my name, um shittykawa, trashykawa, um... a few others that weren’t as clever.” He says waving them away with his hand.    
“Shittykawa?” Iwaizumi repeats. Oikawa’s lips fall, and Iwaizumi stops, his eyes widening. 

“Oh sorry, I wasn’t calling you that I just...” Oikawa’s lips twitch, his breath puffing out of him like bubbles. His voice bounces, the giggles floating up to his mouth again, just as they did the first day, his eyes creasing at the corners.

“Shittykawa?” Iwaizumi says again, and Oikawa laughs harder. 

“Is this a good thing? Why are... why are you laughing...” Iwaizumi’s heart jumps as he laughs, Oikawa’s joy spreading through the air.    
“It sounds... funny when you say it... I like it.” He calms, his smile still wide, his eyes still squinting at Iwaizumi. 

“But it was an insult.” He says. Oikawa just shrugs one shoulder. 

“It doesn’t sound like it when you say it somehow, it just sounds... normal” Oikawa turns on his side scooting forwards just a few centimeters, their noses almost touching. 

“What about you, have any funny nicknames?” Oikawa says bumping the tips of their noses playfully. 

“Umm... yeah, but... yeah, I did.” Oikawa watches Iwaizumi’s eyes, warm with something deep behind them, a memory of someone he loved. 

“Well... who was it?” Iwaizumi looks up, at the question. 

“Who?” He asks. Oikawa nods. 

“Oh come on Iwaizumi, I know that look, you were in love with someone. And they gave you a nickname.” Oikawa says, a smirk rising at one corner of his mouth. He’s right. 

“Yeah, something like that.” Iwaizumi says, and the subject is lost. Oikawa turns his attention back to the stars, and doesn’t ask about the nickname any further, leaving Iwaizumi to stare at the side of face, at the illuminated curve of his lips in the twilight of the room. He wants to hear them say it, he want’s him to call him “Iwa-chan”, but his heart wants something impossible, his heart wants him to remember it, not just say it because he was told he used to. That would only tarnish the warmth behind it, the life he holds to it. 

“Who did you write those letters for?” Oikawa asks suddenly not looking over. 

“Wha...what letters?” He asks. 

“The ones Kyoutani talked about.” He says, this time he turns his head their noses brushing again.

“He said you were smitten for someone, and you wrote them letters.” Oikawa turns even more. 

“Why do you want to know?” Iwaizumi asks, suddenly not wanting to look him in the eyes, wanting to turn away and hide his blush because the look in Oikawa’s eyes already tells him that he knows, that he knows they were for him. 

“Because you know so much about me, but you’re still such a stranger, I want... I want to know you again, even...if I can’t, I want to love you like I remember.” He says. Iwaizumi’s heart pounds in his chest as he reaches a hand up to Oikawa’s face, cupping his jaw and pulling it towards his own. His words are jumbled in his head, and his heart is aching for contact, to feel his warmth as if it might fade. His heart is always worried it will fade. Iwaizumi’s lips press heavily against Oikawa’s, taking in his breath, his warmth. The kiss is still, their lips unmoving until Iwaizumi pulls aways to take a breath, keeping their foreheads connected. 

“Would it be okay, if I told you they were for you? If... if I told you I loved you?” He asks, his heart tightening with fear. Fear that Oikawa isn’t as in love as he is. That he’ll say no, that he’s moving too fast, that he just met him. Iwaizumi doesn’t open his eyes at first, but when Oikawa doesn’t answer he forces them. Their faces are so close, he can see ever wispy hair floating between his face and Oikawa’s, his eyes watery with his shocked expression, his hands pressed tightly to his own chest. Oikawa’s head is swimming with words but none of them seem to be the right ones. He only needs one, he just needs that one. Iwaizumi’s mouth starts to gape trying to speak out an apology, his hands pushing away from Oikawa. He forgets the words stuck on his tongue, forgets the answer he’s suppose to give and kisses Iwaizumi’s lips instead. He reaches out and pulls Iwaizumi back towards him, wrapping his hand around his neck and kissing him like his heart might give out in the next second. Iwaizumi’s breath hitches in his throat as their lips connect. Leaning into the kiss he slides his hand around Oikawa’s waist cupping the small of his back and taking a deep breath.

“Yes.” Oikawa says between kisses. Iwaizumi smiles as he slows the kiss, pressing their foreheads together letting each other breathe. Oikawa pecks at Iwaizumi’s lips, nudging his cheek with his nose.

“I love you.” Oikawa whispers, his heart burning in his chest, the words finally rising up and spilling out between his lips. 

“I love you too.” Oikawa repeats. Iwaizumi pulls Oikawa closer, breathing in his scent. Oikawa lays his head on Iwaizumi’s chest listening to his heart, beating rapidly against his ear falling into sync with this own. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night was perfect!

Oikawa fell asleep, the stars still glowing above their heads. Matsukawa wakes Iwaizumi up once he returns.

“How’d it go?” Matsu says raising an eyebrow. Iwaizumi pulls his arm out from around Oikawa’s chest trying not to wake him.  

“Better not have gotten this floor dirty.” He looks around for something conspicuous. 

“Shut it Matsu, we didn’t have sex. Nor were we planning to tonight.” He says rubbing his eyes as he sits up. Oikawa’s still asleep. Iwaizumi pulls out his phone and squints at the light, 4:30 am. 

“Good, I would have had to kick your ass.” Matsu stands putting out his hands for the keys. 

“Yeah, as if you could.” Iwaizumi responds pulling out the keys from his pocket and handing them over. Matsukawa frowns at the comment, but doesn’t reply. 

“Just get your boyfriend so I can go home and sleep, I’ll be outside having a smoke.” Matsukawa walks away leaving Iwaizumi to wake up Oikawa. The stars flicker out above them and the room enters darkness. Iwaizumi shakes Oikawa’s shoulder a little, hearing his moan in protest. 

“Oikawa, it’s time to go home.” He says rocking him harder. 

“Mmmmmmmmmmm.” Oikawa turns on his back, throwing his arm over his eyes. Iwaizumi stands up instinctively wiping off his jeans, and reaches out a hand for Oikawa to take.    
“Come on, Matsu is waiting to lock up.” Oikawa tugs heavily on Iwaizumi’s hand pulling himself up and slouching in his haziness. Iwaizumi picks up his jacket that they were using as a pillow, and slips it onto Oikawa’s arms zipping it up over his loose shirt that’s falling from one shoulder. Oikawa trudges out of the planetarium behind Iwaizumi, his mind still foggy with sleep, his eyelids heavy in his head, almost pulling his whole body down with them. They’ve walked about a block when Oikawa tugs at Iwaizumi’s hand. 

“Carry?” Oikawa’s head bobs on his shoulders, his limbs too heavy for him to hold up, he’s not used to being up this early. Iwaizumi nods turning his back to him as Oikawa wraps his arms around his neck and his legs around his waist hoisting Oikawa onto his back. He lays his head on Iwaizumi’s shoulder nuzzling his nose onto his neck. 

“Tonight was perfect.” Oikawa whispers, his words tickling Iwaizumi’s neck. 

“Good.” he responds hoisting him up higher on his hips. 

The sun is burning on the horizon invading the blue of the night sky creating a florescent purple that undulates at the edge of the earth. Iwaizumi watches it from the window in Oikawa’s room, his window blinds open. Oikawa’s still on his back. He rubs his face into Iwaizumi’s neck, and Iwaizumi feels the warmth of his tears dripping down his shoulder. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He turns around and sets Oikawa down on the bed. 

“Why are you crying?” Oikawa doesn’t respond, just sniffles, his body limp in Iwaizumi’s arms, his head hanging loosely on his shoulder. 

“You’re dreaming?” Iwaizumi whispers, cupping his face with his hands, wiping away at the tears. 

“Iwa-” Oikawa whispers. His brow furrows, and Iwaizumi rubs his hand up and down his arm. 

“Hey wake up you’re having a bad dream, Oikawa.” He says. Oikawa sucks in a breath and tries to sit up straight. 

“Iwaizumi. Sorry, I fell asleep.” He clutches the arm that’s still clutching his. His heart is heavy, and his bones are still filled with a lethargic sense of sleep that’s spreading through his entire body. Iwaizumi bends down and slips off Oikawa’s flip flops and toe socks. 

“Okay, well I’ll see you later on today.” Iwaizumi says lifting the covers and pushing Oikawa down so his head is laying on the pillow. Oikawa nods, not listening to his words, still trying to piece together the contents of his dream, the same dream he’s been having for years, of the rainstorm, and the boy saying I’m sorry, and the pain in his head every time it ends before he wakes up. 

“Good night.” Iwaizumi bends down, pressing his lips to Oikawa’s temple. Oikawa reaches out and takes his hand as he walks away. 

“Stay.” He says, his eyes somber, something teasing his brain, something unsettling his heart.

“Please.” Iwaizumi nods and moves closer. Oikawa shifts back towards the window, making room for Iwaizumi in the bed. He crawls under the blankets pulling them up under his arm, shifting closer to Oikawa. Oikawa presses his forehead to Iwaizumi’s chest clutching his shirt in his fist. 

“What was the dream about?” Iwaizumi asks running his hand up and down Oikawa’s back. 

“A rainstorm, and someone crying.” He whispers pulling at this shirt, trying to picture faces, but only coming up with raindrops, with glistening light and the sensation in the back of his head.

“I think...” Oikawa swallows, trying to say outloud what he’s been thinking his whole life, hoping it’s true but too scared he’ll be wrong. His head is so heavy on the pillow, his mind so tired from the night. 

“I think... it’s a memory.” He whispers as his eyelids fall and his mind separates from reality.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anniversary date? Festival? Perfect!

The coffee shop is slow today, a rare october rain chasing people home, and beckoning those who dare to dance in it. Iwaizumi sits by the window, watching the raindrops race their way to the bottom of the window, Oikawa’s pumpkin latte still steaming in front of him. He sips at his own mug, the hot tea warming his chest. He checks the time, half past three, and the rain is still falling. 

Kyoutani slides into Oikawa’s still empty seat. He’s late, but Iwaizumi told himself he wouldn’t worry, until 30 minutes had passed, it’s only been 10. Kyoutani’s looks out the window briefly before addressing Iwaizumi. 

“Has he started remembering yet?” He asks, still avoiding eye contact. Iwaizumi doesn’t try to make any either, waiting to see Oikawa’s cliche little red umbrella. 

“It doesn’t matter.” Iwaizumi says, refusing to answer the question, to feel the hope rising in his chest, refusing to subconsciously pressure Oikawa. 

“Don’t you want him to?” Kyoutani persists. 

“It doesn’t matter to me.” He repeats. Kyoutani now just stares at him dumbfounded, like he’s irrational. 

“For someone so smart, you can be a real dumbass sometimes.” He takes a sip of his tea, glancing at Kyoutani over the rim. Kyoutani just shakes his head and gets up, aggravated by the conversation. Iwaizumi reaches out and touches the side of Oikawa’s mug, still hot. He continues to watch the rainfall mindlessly, thinking back over the past 2 months. Counting the days past that second he saw his face again, every touch they’ve shared, every kiss he’s melted into replays in his head. The bell jingles above the door, and Oikawa walks in in his rain coat. He scans the tables for Iwaizumi until he finds his face by the window. He sheds his coat as he approaches, sliding in next to Iwaizumi and pressing his lips to his cheek. 

“Hi.” He says, pulling his mug towards him and sipping the milky drink. Iwaizumi smiles and lets his attention drift from the window to Oikawa, sipping on his latte. 

“What kept you?” he asks looking at the clock change, 3:23. 

“Oh, this.” He says pulling out a crumpled flyer from his pocket, smoothing out the corners on the table. Iwaizumi leans over, reading the words printed, and the date. 

“The Autumn festival?” He says. It’s in three days. 

“Mhm. I thought we could go.” He says keeping the mug close to his lips. 

“And we don’t have to wear Yukatas or anything, just go casually.” Oikawa says. 

“Okay, It’ll be the perfect anniversary date.” Iwaizumi says picking up the flyer and sliding a hand onto Oikawa’s thigh.

“Anniversary?” Oikawa asks. Iwaizumi feels the slight rise of heat to his cheeks. 

“Um, yeah, of when I saw you...that day in the window.” Iwaizumi’s blush grows stronger. 

“It’s been two months, since I found you again.” 

“Then it’s perfect!” Oikawa exclaims, bouncing in the booth. 

“I haven’t been to a festival since I was in middle school.” Oikawa grabs the flyer from Iwaizumi holding it close to his face, examining the artistic design that fills the page. 

“It’ll be fun.” Iwaizumi says leaning closer. Oikawa giggles and sips his drink again, the afternoon running away with the rain.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a difference between having sex, and making love.

The afternoon is bright in autumn, the sun lighting up the falling leaves like electric stars falling to the earth is shades of orange and brown. Oikawa’s always loved fall, the leaves crunching under his shoes, the crisp air, and at night the stars are more clear than ever, everything just feels more alive, when it’s about to die. 2 months, it feels, so short, so short of a time for his heart to be beating this fast, for his mind to be this calm, for his lips to be sore but still tingling for more.

Iwaizumi showed up early, Oikawa expected him to, he hadn’t sat down, he had stood by the door. Something, about this, this date, this moment, this day, felt better, like he’s been waiting, it feels special. The butterflies in his stomach have been fluttering for hours, tickling him from the inside.

Iwaizumi’s hand is warm between his fingers, he can feel his pulse in the center of his palm pushing up against his.

“So, what first?” Oikawa grips iwaizumi’s hand at the entrance to the festival street, the colors exploding off the stalls in waves, children running from stall to stall screaming, laughing, the air filled with life. Oikawa holds on to Iwaizumi’s arm bouncing with the energy of the crowd. It’s been so long since he’s been here, since everything was so full of electricity and color.

“Come on, Lets go lets go!” He pulls Iwaizumi into the crowd by his hand looking from stall to stall at the food, and the games.

“How long did you say it’s been since you’ve come to a festival?” Iwaizumi leans close.

“Longer than I can remember.” He says looking up at the sight of parade floats and dancers at the cross street.

“It’s amazing.” He shouts. The music playing adds to the excitement, to the speed of Oikawa’s heart. Iwaizumi watches him as he leads him through the crowd, pulling him blindly through stalls dripping with the feeling of childish joy. He watches his eyes as they stop at the crossing street and brighten at the dancers and floats. Something about coming at sunset, makes the world glow like it’s on fire. The red and orange shades burning around them as the dancers move and the festival grows. He tugs on Oikawa’s hand nodding him in the direction of a stand selling moon cakes. He pays the man behind the stand and picks up two cakes.

“Try this.” He holds the small cake up to Oikawa’s mouth, watching as he takes a bite. Oikawa’s eyes bulge at the taste, and his hands take the cake from him. Iwaizumi bites into his own as they keep walking. By the time Iwaizumi’s taking his second bite Oikawa’s cheeks are stuffed with the cake, his lips sucking the crumbs off his fingers. Iwaizumi laughs almost choking, Oikawa’s cheeks stuffed out like little balloons. Oikawa looks over at him his eyes closed with laughter chewing slowly on the rest of his moon cake. He brushes off his hands on his jeans before taking Iwaizumi’s hand again. They continue to walk through the crowd until Iwaizumi sees the game they used to play as kids, with the paper nets and fish.

“Hey look over there.” He points at the crowd of children bent over the trough of water and small fish.

“We used to play that when we were kids.” He says walking towards it.

“You used to complain because you couldn’t catch any fish.” Iwaizumi smiles at the memory of Oikawa’s childish face, scowling, his lips pouting because Iwa-chan caught them all. Oikawa leans over and presses his lips to Iwaizumi’s cheek, feeling the heat against his skin.

“Catch me one?” He says. Iwaizumi eyes Oikawa, and nods.

He positions the paper net above the water watching the fish below the surface before as quick as possible scooping him up and letting him fall through the paper and into the bowl. Oikawa watches over his shoulder and claps when he sees the fish in the bowl. The man behind the counter puts the captured fish in a transparent bag, his blue and black scales sparkling in the now dark nightlight of the lanterns. Oikawa take the small bag from the keeper and holds it up at eye level.

“I don’t think I can keep him.” Oikawa says, pouting.

“That's okay.” Iwaizumi says peering in at the little creature, swimming aimlessly in circles. Oikawa holds the bag close to his chest and walks over to a small child and her mother, and begins to speak with her. Iwaizumi watches from where he stands as the mother nods and Oikawa hands the little fish over to the little girl, who’s eyes are glowing with the excitement of holding another life.

“That was nice.” Iwaizumi says as Oikawa returns. He smiles and nods, the excitement of the night starting to transform into a smooth calm in his chest, resting heavily on his heart.

“I think it’s time to watch the lanterns.” Iwaizumi says, noticing the light emanating off the water.

“Let's go find a seat.” Oikawa says brushing away his bangs. Iwaizumi takes his hand and pulls him through the throng of people walking in the same direction.

“Follow me.” He says darting in between some of the stalls to avoid the crowd. Oikawa stumbles after Iwaizumi until he stops at the base of a path. Iwaizumi had led them to a small hill on the side of the lake, away from the crowd and hidden in the dark.

There are only a few lanterns on the lake so far, their golden light reflecting on the glass surface of the sleeping lake, the image shaking with the movement of the wind that pushes them farther out towards the moon’s reflection. The moon isn’t full, but its full crescent still glows among the dark skies alone in its silence. Oikawa sits down in the grass, leaning on his knees to see the lanterns, the children running along the shore, avoiding the water as it taunts them with its mystery. Iwaizumi joins him leaning back on his palms with his legs outstretched. The number of lanterns on the lake slowly increase, building magic upon its surface.

“It’s beautiful.” Oikawa says. The wind brushes against his neck, it's warm for and october night, but still chilly.

“Yeah, it really is.” The silence between them isn’t heavy, isn’t bothersome, isn’t drawing out their breaths in some awkward tension to make their hearts comfortable. It’s just silence, calmly reassuring in the presence of something complete, something entirely whole. The lights are at the far end of the lake filling it with spots of gold and fire. Oikawa stares at an empty spot on the edge of the lake, just below their hill, and isolated patch of darkness, where no one can see.

“Come on.” He says standing from his spot pulling iwaizumi by his hand.

“Where are we going?” He asks tripping and almost falling down the hill as Oikawa pulls him towards the lake, the light from the lanterns getting closer and brighter.

“Take off your clothes.” Oikawa says removing his own shirt as he does. Iwaizumi stands there a moment dumbfounded by the request, his heart drumming against his chest the vibrations traveling all the way down his stomach.

“Why?” He manages to choke out, though begins to remove his shirt anyways.

“Cause I want to do something.” Iwaizumi’s fumbling with his belt before he looks up and sees Oikawa removing his underwear as well. He averts his eyes quickly avoiding the skin that he hasn’t touched yet, until he hears the sound of the water lapping. He looks up from the ground at OIkawa’s body disappearing into the water.

The water is cold on Oikawa’s body, touching every hair, filling every pore. It takes a moment but he adjusts, leveling his breathing, moving closer to the lanterns. Iwaizumi’s in the water a few moments after him, breathing heavily at the shock of the cold, wading his hands to stay afloat.

“Come on, I want to see the lanterns.”

“We were seeing the lanterns from the hill, this is you wanting to _be_ a lanterns Shittykawa.” Iwaizumi says kicking forward.

“Don’t complain Iwaizumi this is fun and you know it!” Oikawa says turning towards him and kicking backwards towards the light. Iwaizumi can just make out his smirk in the shadows.

“I’m not complaining, I’m just saying, this is a little crazy.”

They continue swimming until their breaths are heavy in their chests, until the lanterns surround them glowing like balls of sunlight captured in paper. Iwaizumi doesn’t get too close, even though he wants to be closer than he should, even though he wants to touch every centimeter of Oikawa’s skin.

“They’re even more beautiful up close.” Oikawa says poking at the edge of one, sending it in the other direction. He lays his head back, partially floating on his back holding his breath to stay above water. He doesn’t last long before he pushed out a gasp and has to return to wading through the water normally.

“Iwaizumi why are you so far.” Oikawa says noticing his distance. Iwaizumi doesn’t answer, just lets the heat rise into his cheeks.

“Come help me float.” Oikawa says, pulling him closer to the center. Their bodies have gone numb to the cold, the only sensation the feeling of emptiness beneath them, and the feeling of the other’s touch. Oikawa lays his head back his chest coming above surface, Iwaizumi cradling the back of his neck in his hand and holding the small of his back as best he can in the weightlessness of the water. Oikawa holds onto his bicep for support before relaxing completely. He stares at the sky, trying to see past the darkness, past the depth, for something real.

“You know, I wonder if the water is trying to copy the vastness of the universe by being deep, and only showing its surface, or is the universe giving it to the water, such depth in it’s darkness. Iwaizumi stares at Oikawa, at the way his hair floats in the water, aimlessly moving like silk.

“Iwa-chan you’re letting me fall.” Oikawa says grabbing onto his muscle again.

“Oh, sorry.” Iwaizumi snaps out of his trance and adjusts his hands pushing Oikawa up again.

“IWA-CHAN!, that’s my butt!” Oikawa says, giggling, but Iwaizumi doesn’t move his hand, doesn’t even register the rest of the sentence, all he hears is that name, that nickname that’s unbearable unless spoken by him, by the one who took his heart.

“What did you just call me?” He asks not willing to trust his ears.

“What? Iwa-chan?” Iwaizumi nods letting Oikawa’s hips fall under the water again.

“Where’d you hear that?” He asks moving closer.

“I don’t know, I just, kinda knew it, it felt, familiar.” Oikawa’s eyes are wide, swimming with warmth. Iwaizumi’s heart empties out, pushing him forward, closer, until it can feel the erratic beat of Oikawa’s. Their lips collide, Iwaizumi’s hands cupping Oikawa’s cheeks, pushing him backwards in the water, their bodies touching in unfamiliar places. Oikawa breathes in, kissing him back immediately, moving his lips and allowing entrance into his mouth, pushing his tongue out until he feels the warmth of Iwaizumi’s. Iwaizumi’s hands find their way to Oikawa’s hips, pulling him up to straddle his waist, running up his bare back, feeling the skin that's wet, and soft, and new. Oikawa wraps his arms around Iwaizumi’s neck, feeling the warmth of his body mingle with his own, the numbness of the cold turning into heat. Their tongues lick and taste one another’s mouths, until Iwaizumi’s fits itself to the curve of Oikawa’s jaw moving it’s way downs his neck.

“Wait.” Oikawa can feel himself fading into Iwaizumi, melting into his warmth, but this isn’t how he wants it.

“Wait, wait, Iwaizumi stop.” Oikawa pushing back on his shoulders separating their bodies.

“Why?” Iwaizumi’s trying to catch his breath, the look of desire dripping like tears from his eyes.

“I want to...” Oikawa moves closer, touching their foreheads.

“Believe me I want to... but I want to take it slow, at home, in a bed.” He talks in a hushed tone, his breath pushing on Iwaizumi’s lips.

“Is this your first time?” Iwaizumi asks. Oikawa bites his bottom lip closing his eyes.

“It’s not, my first time having _sex_ , but it is my first time, making love.” Oikawa fiddles with the edge of Iwaizumi’s hair, his arms laid down against his shoulders. Iwaizumi pecks Oikawa’s lips,

“Well then, let's go home.” Iwaizumi says.

 

***

 

Oikawa’s still drenched in his clothes, Iwaizumi’s apartments cold enough to give him goosebumps. He’s standing at the door waiting for the lights to come on, waiting for something to show him that this is real. But that sign isn’t a light, it isn’t an image, it's iwaizumi’s hand on his arm, it’s his fingers twisting into his own. Oikawa follows the tug of his hand towards indistinct directions, through darker hallways until they enter a room, lit with moonlight coming in from ceiling tall windows that expose the city to the bedroom. Oikawa leans back on the bed feeling the heat of Iwaizumi’s lips brushing up against his neck, Oikawa’s breath is shaking in his throat trying to speak before his mind is lost to his sense of touch to the heat rising in his stomach, in his chest. 

“Wait.” He says again, and can almost feel the pain through Iwaizumi’s skin. Iwaizumi doesn’t say anything, but retracts his lips from Oikawa’s neck and glares at him. 

“Condoms.” Oikawa says. Iwaizumi’s lips perk up slightly at the corners, a chuckle breaking through his lips. 

“I’ll get them.” He says pecking Oikawa’s lips for the millionth time with patience. Oikawa waits until Iwaizumi’s left to the bathroom before he moves, unbuttoning his pants and kicking them and his underwear to the floor and crawling to the center of the bed. Iwaizumi comes back with a few in his hands, putting them on the corner of the bed. Oikawa just sits there, staring at him. 

“No more waits?” He asks, his brows furrowing, pleading with Oikawa. Oikawa shakes his head. 

“No more waits.” Iwaizumi removes his shirt and jeans, crawling towards him in just his underwear until they're close enough that he can see the curve in his muscles in the darkness. Iwaizumi pulls at the base of Oikawa’s shirt tugging it up. Oikawa lifts his arms as the fabric crosses over his field of vision watching it move, taking away all but his sense of touch as Iwaizumi’s free hand glides across the length of his right side making his heart race faster. Iwaizumi pressing his lips to the center of his chest, kissing his collarbone, trailing his adam’s apple. The shirt doesn’t make a sound when it hits the floor. Oikawa takes hold of Iwaizumi’s lips once they’re close, sliding his hands down his sides, under the waistband of his underwear pushing them down to his thighs. Iwaizumi opens his mouth allowing Oikawa’s tongue to explore his pallet, sitting up on his knees pulling the underwear off further until they’re on the ground next to Oikawa’s shirt. They’re both on their knees, Iwaizumi’s arms wrapped tightly around Oikawa’s waist pressing their bodies together, their skin touching in every place, friction making their senses run wild, electricity running through their veins. Oikawa hugs Iwaizumi’s neck, clutching at his hair. Iwaizumi slides his hands down Oikawa’s thighs and pulls them around his hip, lifting him, sitting back on his heels, running his fingers over the curve of Oikawa’s ass. Oikawa pushes down on Iwaizumi’s shoulders as his lips trail down Oikawa’s chest. He lays Oikawa back against the bed continuing down his abdomen, nipping at the pale skin of his hips. He stops when he notices the tattoo. His hand traces across the image, drawing it again with his fingers. Oikawa gasps a little, the pain of it’s meaning still heavy in his heart.     

“When ‘d you get it?” he asks. His fingers warm on Oikawa’s skin.  

“When I turned 16.” Iwaizumi brushes the tips of his fingers over the lines, his own hand print permanently scarred into Oikawa’s skin the scribbled words ‘I’m sorry’ floating just below it. He flattens his palm against it, covering it. He leans up and kisses Oikawa, pulls him closer as Oikawa’s tears touch his cheeks. Oikawa tries to kiss him back, but his lips are quivering too much. Why’s he crying, he shouldn’t be crying. He shakes his head and mumbles. 

“I’m sorry... I’m sorry.” He whispers. Iwaizumi kisses his cheeks wiping away the tears with his thumbs, pulling his lips closer to his until he’s kissing every fear off of them, every sob quieted by him, by the pressure of his body against his. Oikawa falls into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Iwaizumi letting his heat envelop him, letting himself fade.

Oikawa holds Iwaizumi’s head to his body as he begins to run his lips across his stomach again, moving farther down towards his erection. Oikawa gasps when he feels Iwaizumi’s tongue touch him, biting his lip, clawing at Iwaizumi’s hair. 

“Ahh...hh” Oikawa moans as he feels Iwaizumi’s teeth push lightly against him. He feels warm, and wet, throbbing in Iwaizumi’s mouth. His lungs don’t know how to breath properly anymore, gasping out rapid moans and cries. Iwaizumi’s finger slides into him, moving in circles, stretching him. He doesn’t know how to think, how to breath, how to do anything but feel, twitching under Iwaizumi’s hands, falling prey to his lips, to the never ending pleasure of his warmth. Iwaizumi adds pressure, holding down Oikawa’s legs on the bed; Oikawa grips the sheets,

“Ahh... Iwa- nnn” Oikawa moans Iwaizumi’s name blushing at his continuous lack of control. His toes curl, grabbing onto the sheets below them, every centimeter of his body fizzing with energy, with Iwaizumi’s fingers inside him. Iwaizumi leans over Oikawa’s body, tasting the salt of the sweat starting to drip down his chest, teasing his nipples until Oikawa bends beneath him.   Iwaizumi’s hand supports Oikawa’s back as they move, his lips warm from Oikawa’s body. He nuzzles Oikawa’s neck his entire body pressed against his, hands sliding into Oikawa’s hair as he finds his lips again twirling the soft strands through his fingers. Something stops him, he had never run his fingers through Oikawa’s hair, so he never felt it. The skin is rough, a small edge where the hair stopped growing. 

“A scar?” Iwaizumi says looking into Oikawa’s eyes, pulling his lips away. 

“From the accident.” Oikawa breathes. Iwaizumi keeps running his fingers over the bump, it scarred? Iwaizumi feels his throat close before he notices the tears. Oikawa presses his tongue to Iwaizumi’s cheeks. 

“Iwa-chan, I’m okay, I’m not broken, I don’t feel empty anymore.” Oikawa doesn’t realize it’s true until the words cross his lips. He doesn’t feel, broken anymore. 

“I may not remember, but I’m okay, I found you now and...” He sits up. 

“And, I fell in love.” 

“So please, don’t cry. I’m okay, as long... as long as you love me too.” He pulls Iwaizumi into his arms, embracing his aching heart, feeling their broken pieces meld back together. Oikawa runs his own hands across Iwaizumi’s back, across the curve of his muscles, fitting his lips onto his collarbone, licking his way up to his lips until his breath only hitches from Oikawa’s touch. Their lips burn against each other, pushing and pulling, their tongues playing. Oikawa lays back down, letting Iwaizumi take him again, the pleasure over taking his skin once again. Iwaizumi pulls him up onto his lap again, holding Oikawa body, feeling it tremble with moans as he enters him, the friction electrifying his own body with every thrust. Oikawa can feel his body heat rise with their connection, his back arching at the pressure his hips pushing up against Iwaizumi. His breathing becomes louder, the fog in his brain collecting with the tension in his abdomen. Iwaizumi leans over him, his breath heavy against his ear, hands pressing bruises into his hips. Oikawa’s nails leave small moons along Iwaizumi’s back pulling him down. 

“Kiss me. Kiss me.” Oikawa says pressing his lips to Iwaizumi’s letting his tongue slide against the roof of his mouth, along the bottom of his tongue, the rhythm of Iwaizumi’s movements syncing with the bobbing of their heads. Oikawa gasps when Iwaizumi’s warmth invades him, the tension in his own stomach releasing as well, making him arch his back Iwaizumi’s lips pressing down on his neck. He’s pulsating, every nerve vibrating with the memory of Iwaizumi’s fleeting warmth as he pulls out. Oikawa’s breathing is captured again by Iwaizumi’s lips, his body next to his, side by side, cupping his cheeks until he falls asleep.

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remember? The pain?

The room is still dark, the sheets rumpled around Oikawa’s hips, Iwaizumi’s body spooning him. Oikawa’s head is heavy on the pillow, throbbing with the sound of the thunderstorm tearing at the trees outside. He blinks his eyes open in the low light of the room, the window curtains open, exposing them to the eyes of the moon. Thunder breaks through the sky and rattles the earth sending pressure up to Oikawa’s heart. He chokes on his breath as he tries to exhale, feeling the pain of his headache bring tears to his eye. 

“Iwa-chan.” He moans, sitting up in the bed. The tension in his heart doesn’t lessen, just turns and knots like sharp wounds cutting deeper into already bleeding muscle. His heart pushes on his ribcage as if it were to swell and explode, pushing the breaths out of his too quickly to take back in. He can feel himself being pushed, choked by the air around him, by his own skin holding him down to the bed restricting him. 

“Iwa-chan.” He cries, wrapping his arms around his shoulders, buckling his knees to his chest, feeling the tension of his body expand into restless screams and thrashes scraping at the surface of his skin. He pushes away the sheets and stumbles out of bed, the blood rushing to his head fogging his vision with auras that dance around the room like ghosts. 

_ “Iwa-chan!”  _ Oikawa hears, a small voice in his head echos as another lightning bolt strikes a lamppost across the street. He hears the sound of feet pounding mud, pounding grasslands. 

_ “Oikawa slow down, you alwa...”  _ the voice fades in the air. Oikawa holds his temples, rubbing them like Iwaizumi does. The rainstorm thrashes and beats against the window, sheets of water washing over the blurry streets below. 

_“I said slow down Oikawa!”_ the voice shouts again. Oikawa’s head throbs with images of his younger self, of the brown mud covering him as he fell. He holds the back of his head, screaming at the pain behind the scar. He looks at his hand when he feels the warmth of blood spread between his fingers, the crimson liquid dripping down his palm. His knees hit the ground like rocks, his body limp, pulling himself into a ball. 

“Where am I?” Oikawa whispers, trying to see past the pain. He doesn’t move. 

“Where am I?” 

“Oikawa!” 

“OIKAWA!” Iwaizumi’s voice penetrates the screaming. His body is shaking. 

“Oikawa wake up!!” Iwaizumi says, his hands pressed firmly to his shoulder. Oikawa blinks his eyes open, feeling the weight in his chest suffocate him as he gasps for air at the terror of drowning beneath the rainstorm of his dream. Iwaizumi’s staring at him from above, hovering over him, his face stricken with terror at Oikawa’s thrashing. Oikawa’s breaths boil up inside of him, sweat dripping down his temple. Iwaizumi’s shoulders relax at the sight of Oikawa’s open brown eyes, his heart still trembling with fear. Oikawa’s eyes furrow, the ache in the back of his head throbbing, slicing its way up to his forehead spreading like a fire.

“You okay?” Iwaizumi asks, brushing away his bangs. Oikawa turns on his side, confusion running in his head with every push against his skull. He turns towards Iwaizumi, moving closer, wrapping his arms around his torso. 

“I’ll be okay.” He breathes. Iwaizumi slides down to Oikawa’s level, resting his head on the pillow, their noses brushing. 

“Okay.” Iwaizumi whispers. Oikawa closes his eyes and fits his head in the crook of Iwaizumi's neck, pushing the pain away, the memories to the back of his mind, agreeing with himself that he'll think in the morning, he'll remember, in the morning. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long, I've been so busy lately with school and college entrance exams I haven't had the time or energy to write. Hope you like it, don't forget to COMMENT and give KUDOS!!! I absolutely love hearing from all of you!!!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He wrote letters because he felt alone without Oikawa because the pain of loving someone was too great to bear in silence.

Oikawa’s head still throbs against the pillow he shares with Iwaizumi, their faces still inches apart, their bodies still bear against each other smooth skin brushing smooth skin. Oikawa wakes before Iwaizumi, the air in his lungs hot from the warmth of the blankets. Iwaizumi’s hand rests under his cheek, pushing his cheek into an awkward bulge. Oikawa listens to the sound of Iwaizumi breathing, his rough breaths rasping in the air, his mouth open. Oikawa inches his hand out from under the blankets and presses a finger under his chin, closing his mouth, watching him stir at his touch. He never told him, he knows he remembers, that’s why he was apologizing, he wasn’t just crying because he was scared, he was crying because he thought it was his fault. Oikawa brushes his palm along his cheek.

“I didn’t fall because you pushed me, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa whispers, just as Iwaizumi’s eyes begin to open. Iwaizumi registers what he says instantly, the words pulsating in his veins with terror and the burning radiation of guilt eating at his stomach. He sits up in bed.

“What!?” Iwaizumi’s mind is running frantic, almost already in tears ready to plead for forgiveness. He opens his mouth stuttering for words.

“Hey hey calm down!” Oikawa says sitting up on his hands. Iwaizumi’s still avoiding eye contact staring at a wrinkle in the blankets, trying to understand how he found out, how he’s not upset.

“I’m sorry, Tooru, I didn’t know how to tell you, I just... I thought you’d hate me.” Iwaizumi tries to explain, sitting back on his legs. He’s holding back tears, but still not willing to look Oikawa in the eyes. Oikawa just stares at him, trying to catch his little green eyes.

“Iwaizumi,” Oikawa says, scootching forward. He cups Iwaizumi’s cheek in his palm, pulling his eyes up to meet his own.

“Iwaizumi, even without my memories, I could never hate you.” Oikawa can feel the fear racing in Iwaizumi’s chest, the tension in his skin reaching up to even the corners of his eyes. Iwaizumi nods. He reaches up and grabs Oikawa’s wrist, sliding his palm against his. He presses his cheek deeper into Oikawa’s palm.

“I didn’t fall because you pushed me, It was muddy and slippery, and... my shoes were untied.” This time, Oikawa looks away, his cheeks rosy with embarrassment. Iwaizumi almost starts laughing.

“Say that again?” He says moving Oikawa’s hand from his cheek to his chest.

“I know you heard me.” Oikawa snaps, trying to suppress a smile, his lips twisting and biting at themselves. Iwaizumi’s head falls back, his eyes squeezing shut, the tension in his heart leaving his body in his laughter.

“You’re lying.” He says. Iwaizumi continues to laugh, whether his heart is trembling out of relief, or joy he can't tell. Oikawa lets out a little giggle and shakes his head.

“Of course you are, you have to be. Or else that would mean...” Iwaizumi’s smile flattens, his eyes widening.

“You remember?” Iwaizumi whispers. Oikawa smiles, the tears pricking the corners of his eyes as they squeeze shut, and nods. Iwaizumi tackles Oikawa onto the bed, their bodies colliding on the sheets.

“You remember.” Iwaizumi says, propping himself up, hovering over Oikawa.

“I remember the fall.” Oikawa says looking over at his hand beside his head. He fiddles his toes.

“You remember me?” Iwaizumi asks, still hovering. Oikawa’s heart jumps in his chest.

“Everything from before the fall is still fuzzy...” Oikawa closes his eyes, and tries to picture a younger Iwaizumi, tries to find his face in the blurry colors of his childhood, thinks of his eyes, but finds something else. He remembers his heart racing, the warmth in his hand.

Iwaizumi watches Oikawa below him, his eyes closed, his brow furrowed as he looks through his memories. His fingers twitch, his arms resting on the bed above his head. Iwaizumi reaches out and entwines their fingers, pressing their palms together. Oikawa’s lips perk at the corners, sliding into a smile.

“It’s okay if it’s a little fuzzy... as long as it's becoming clearer.” Iwaizumi says lowering himself onto his elbows, their noses brushing. Oikawa’s eyes flick open. They pause, swimming in each other's eyes, counting the flecks of gold in their irises, until Oikawa moves forward. He parts his lips and presses them to Iwaizumi’s, breathing in his scent, feeling the vibration of their hearts against each other. Iwaizumi closes his eyes, savoring the taste of Oikawa’s lips, heat rising in his cheeks. Oikawa breaks the kiss, letting the space grow between their lips but keeping their foreheads touching.

“I can’t remember your face.” Oikawa breathes. His eyes are still closed, his cheeks flushed with heat. He smiles, letting out the gasp of a giggle.

“But I do remember you, Iwaizumi.” Oikawa whispers his name close to his lips.

“I can remember, the way my heart used to race when I was with you, the way your palm always warmed up mine in the winter. I can remember bits and pieces of the excitement I felt when I knew you were coming to play, I can still feel the butterflies in my stomach.” Oikawa squirms underneath Iwaizumi.

“I can’t remember your face, but I remember, how you made me feel.” Oikawa feels the pressure of Iwaizumi’s head on his shoulder and opens his eyes.

“I love you.” Iwaizumi says into Oikawa’s skin.

“I love you.” He repeats.

“I love you too.” Oikawa says. Iwaizumi lifts his head from Oikawa’s shoulder and presses their lips together again. Oikawa sucks in a breath. Their fingers part and begin to roam into hair and along spines. Iwaizumi begins to nip at Oikawa’s neck, making his ways down to his collar bone. They both freeze when Oikawa’s stomach makes a very audible and very sudden grumble. Iwaizumi breaks out laughing.

“Sorry.” Oikawa says, his cheeks growing hotter.

“Kinda killed the mood.” Iwaizumi quiets to a soft chuckle.

“Are you hungry?” Iwaizumi asks kissing the corner of Oikawa’s jawline. Oikawa bends his head back in order to allow Iwaizumi to caress his neck.

“No.” Oikawa lies. Iwaizumi stops but doesn’t move away.

“But your stomach just growled.” He says.

“But if I’m hungry that means you’ll want to make breakfast, which means you’ll get out of bed.” Oikawa says, his lips pouting.

“But you're hungry.” Iwaizumi says.

“No, I’m not, now keep kissing me.” He demands, closing his eyes again. Iwaizumi shifts his body off of Oikawa’s.

“Iwa-chan!” Oikawa whines, feeling the sudden breeze. Iwaizumi pulls on a pair underwear.  

“If you leave me here, I’m going to snoop through your things.” He says watching Iwaizumi’s ass saunter out of the room.

“By all means, not like you’ll find anything.” Iwaizumi’s words disappear into the hallway.

“Okay, but I warned you.” Oikawa calls out. He sits up in the bed, looking around the room for something to snoop through. He climbs out of bed and tiptoes over to the bookshelf, slipping on his underwear along the way. He scans the titles that line the shelves. Only, the titles aren’t well known, nor are their authors. Oikawa pauses at one book. It’s unmarked, and leather bound, the thickest on the shelf sitting in the center of the bottom row. Oikawa pulls it out. He would have thought it to be heavy, but it’s as if it’s made of air. He holds it close to his chest and crawls back onto the bed. He peers into the hallway to make sure Iwaizumi isn’t coming to stop him. The book used to be heavy, that is until it was hollowed out. Jagged knife marks line the edges of the pages, creating a pocket where about a hundred letter are hidden. Some have envelopes, some don't. Some are folded into squares, or origami figures, others are small enough to lay open. Oikawa picks up the first one and examines the writing, and his name written neatly at the top. The letter is addressed to him. He holds his breath and begins to read.

 

_Dear Oikawa,_

_The leaves are falling again, and I can’t stop thinking about how you wanted to try and make a snowman out of them, but there aren’t enough to make anything yet, so I’ll have to wait. I’ll take a picture when I do. The fall festivals are starting up again, a girl asked me if I wanted to go to one with her today. I wasn’t sure what to say at first, I’m not much of a socializer. I told her yes, though, because I knew you would have told me to go. I wonder if I’ll ever send any of these, they’re starting to pile up. Maybe I shouldn’t write as many as I do. It’s not like you’ll ever read them. I’ve gotta go, mom’s calling me for dinner. Are you awake yet? Are you mad at me? I miss you. I write again soon._

_-Iwaizumi_

_October 3rd, 2009_

 

Three years after the accident? He was still writing after three years? Oikawa put down the letter and shuffles through the other. They’re all addressed to him, every last one of them. They go all the way up to the day they met again. Oikawa pulls out another random one.

 

_Dear Oikawa,_

_My mom’s making me go to a therapist, her new boyfriend found the letter a few weeks ago, and tore a bunch of them up. He said I was sick, that my gay ass should be put on the street. I didn’t realize I had hit him until my mother started shouting. Apparently, I broke his jaw, but my mom said he deserved it for saying what he did and destroying my letters. There are fewer letters now, and mom has me going to a therapist because she thinks they’ve become an unhealthy habit. The therapist says I should maybe just write for every major event. I agreed to it cause I’m not sure what to think, I’m not sure if I’m messed up because of this because I lost you. I don’t know why I can't leave you as a memory, why I can't just forget._

_-2013_

 

The signature and month were smeared by something wet and few little droplets painted onto the paper. 2004, he was 14. Oikawa picks up another letter.

 

_Dear Oikawa,_

_I came out to my mom as Bisexual. She took it fairly well, had a lot of questions, but she said she loved me regardless. It feels good to not be hiding it, holding in the fear that she won’t love me. I’m not quite sure how to explain it like I’m no longer trapped in a cage of my own skin, I feel comfortable, but still very vulnerable. I’m sure I’ll get used to it, I’m just still very new to being out, to having my heart be so naked for the world to see. You know, she said something, when I told her, something enlightening. She asked me if I was in love with you. I didn’t answer her. Told her it didn’t matter because It’s not like I was ever going to see you again. I wanted to cry when I said that, I don’t want it to be true, I don’t want to believe I’m alone, cause that’s how it feels without you, lonely. It’s still very lonely._

_-Iwaizumi_

_June 24, 2015_

Oikawa holds the letter to his forehead, squeezing his eyes shut. The tears are heavy on his cheeks, leaving streaks like they’re made of blood. His heart feels weightless, but his mind screams like it’s held down by iron. He pushes the letter aside, scrambling for another.

 

_Dear Oikawa,_

_I’m no longer a virgin. When I told the guys, they all clapped me on the back and congratulated me. I know I'm supposed to be happy, to feel like a man or some shit, but I just feel hollow. We’ve been dating for about 4 months now, it was her idea, and I agreed. It wasn’t what I expected it to be like, It felt good, but I didn’t feel... in love. She said it was amazing, which I’m glad, I guess. But I feel guilty. Like I betrayed someone, I’m too afraid to say who it is, even here, because I’m afraid it’ll be proof of my insanity. I wish I could take it back. I wish you would have been my first kiss, my first time, but I guess I can settle for you being my first love, even if you never know it. I guess that’s why I could never forget. That old saying holds true, you really do never forget your first love._

 

  * __Iwaizumi__  



_January. 29th, 2016_

 

The fork rattles on the tile floor. Oikawa looks up. Iwaizumi’s standing in the doorway, two plates of eggs, in his hands.

“I warned you I would snoop.” Oikawa sniffles, wiping away the tears dripping over the edge of his chin. His face is probably stained with their path from his eyes. Iwaizumi Put the plates down on his dresser by the door, rushing to the bed and pulling Oikawa’s shoulders into his arms. Oikawa feels his tears smearing across Iwaizumi skin. Iwaizumi sits on the bed next to him, holding Oikawa until he learns to breathe again, until his eyes dry and his heart calms. Time passes slowly, and painfully between them. The seconds counted by their thoughts, lingering.

“How much did you read?” Iwaizumi mumbles his words into Oikawa’s hair.

“Enough to know your pain,” Oikawa says rubbing his face deeper into Iwaizumi’s chest. Iwaizumi looks at the letters placed aside the book.

“I didn’t... I didn’t think you’d find them.”

“Do you still write them?” Oikawa turns his head to the side, leaving his ear pressed to Iwaizumi’s heart. He reaches out and strokes the curling edges of the papers set on the bed.

“No,” Iwaizumi says, he watches Oikawa’s eyelashes flutter with the weight of the tears still clinging to them. Oikawa looks up at his answer, confused, for some reason.

“I wrote so many because I felt empty without you, and being able to write to you made me feel like I wasn’t alone, eventually, the letters became somewhat of a diary, I’d complain, I’d vent, I’d take refuge in the thought of you understanding, in the pages I was fabricating for a person I no longer knew.” Oikawa curls his legs closer to his chest. Iwaizumi squeezes his arm, calling his attention to his eyes.

“I don’t feel alone anymore, because I have you right here, in my arms. I don’t need to write you letters when you’re here in person to hear my words.” Oikawa picks up the loose papers and places them in the hollowed out book. He pulls it into his lap running his fingers over the blue leather that’s worn and tattered, soft on the edges from constant touch.

“Can I read more of them?” Oikawa asks. He’s not sure if it’s too much of a request, but he hopes Iwaizumi won’t say no.

“That is if you’re okay with it,” Oikawa mumbles quickly looking at the last letter he read.

“Oikawa,”

“I wrote these letters for you. They’re yours to take, to read on your own, or with me whichever you prefer, they’re yours to do with as you please.” Oikawa still holds one of the letters in his hands, the paper newer than some of the others, Iwaizumi’s confession written in the black ink that stains the paper.

“Can I ask something?” Oikawa says, he’s pressing the letter to his chest, the vulnerability of Iwaizumi’s heart still palpable through the paper. Iwaizumi nods, noticing the sound the paper makes under the thumping of Oikawa’s chest.

“Did the feeling change?” Oikawa holds out the letter so Iwaizumi can read the words.

“Did it change, when you made love to me?” Oikawa says. Iwaizumi looks up at Oikawa and feels his blush spread to the back of his neck. Oikawa’s cheeks are painted with a rosy pink, his entire face filling with the radiance and heat of the sun. Iwaizumi giggles, the sharp breaths leaving him in sudden bursts. Oikawa’s eyes widen, shocked at Iwaizumi’s reaction, but his blush deepens to a bright crimson when Iwaizumi kisses him, the heat of their bodies making their heads feel light with ecstasy. The kiss is soft, whispers on their lips his answer.

“Yes.”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHH I finished!!!! I hope you enjoyed my first Multi-chapter fic. I already have my next one all thought up, hopefully, I'll have chapter 1 out soon. Hope you enjoyed this one thanks for all the support. Don't forget to comment and share!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, talk to me on Tumblr, hope you liked it. Don't forget to leave Kudos and comments!!! I love to hear from you!!!!
> 
> Tumblr: http://paintbrushyy.tumblr.com/


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